Posts Tagged With: happiness
Morning readA wise teacher once brought balloons to school, told her pupils to blow them up and write their name on one. After the children tossed their balloons into the hall, the teacher moved through the hall mixing them all up. The kids were given five minutes to find the balloon with their name on it, but though they searched frantically, no one found their own balloon Then the teacher told them to take the balloon closest to them and give it to the person whose name was on it. In less than two minutes, everyone was holding their own balloon.The teacher said to the children, “These balloons are like happiness. We won’t find it when we’re only searching for our own. But if we care about someone else’s happiness…it will ultimately help us find our own.”
Here are the six toxic behaviors that are preventing you from reaching true happiness:
1. “I don’t have what I need to be happy.”
Happiness doesn’t come from stuff, but it can come from appreciating your stuff. Appreciation and gratitude leads directly to happiness. What are you grateful for?
2. “I’m just not good enough.”
Yes you are. Knock that off.
3. “I can never heal.”
People hurt us, it’s true. You’re lucky to get through this life without any kind of heart break. But hey, you absolutely can heal, you just never will if you keep telling yourself that you can’t.
4. “I must be in control.”
I used to be this way. Badly. I always had to be in control of things. Heck, sometimes I can still be that way. But all it did was cause grief and worry.
It’s not worth it to try to control everything. Take responsibility, but don’t fight to control.
5. “This is personal.”
Almost nothing is personal. These days it seems like everyone just aches to be offended, and if it doesn’t outrage you, it’s not worth the time.
That’s a rough way to live. Realize that nothing is ever truly personal and you’ll be happier.
6. “I must be liked by everyone.”
This one is especially silly. The opinions of others don’t weigh on you at all. You are who you are and should embrace that. Not everyone is going to like you and okay.
Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.
“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino
Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.