We may love the wrong person, cry for the wrong person. But one thing is sure, mistakes help us find the right person. Go for someone who isn’t only proud to have you, but will also take every risk just to be with you! Never, ever settle. Don’t ever think that you have to put up with someone’s BS. You are all beautiful in your own individual way so never lower your standards. Just be patient and don’t rush things, anything worth having is worth waiting for.-SQ
A post from Kristine Carlson
As part or our early morning ritual, my late husband Richard and I would have our coffee, meditate, and repeat this prayer: “Divine love, play me as an instrument in your finely tuned orchestra of life.” Hence, the Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff book series came from that prayer and the chapters of our life together.
Letting go of my problems to divine guidance sure makes life feel easier. When I can release my worries and stress, I can then return to the moment where life is happening now.
For more on this post, click here: http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/08/19/the-s-t-a-r-r-of-letting-go
Today I want to talk about excitement…and why it often fades away…if we’re not careful in culture and in our leading.
1st day of school for the kids this morning. Last night was filled with the discussions of teachers, schedules and friends. There was some nervous excitement… but mostly just excitement. New first day of school outfits were laid out carefully along with backpacks loaded with the essentials (and lots of other stuff). The kids spoke of their desire to put their best foot forward… and some parental reminders of what that “best foot” might look like, sound like along with a few role plays for good measure were offered.
Rebecca woke up extra early to prepare the “Breakfast of Champions” for our young all-stars. The girls woke up this morning were dressed in minutes and wore their new back packs almost from the moment they woke up. The boys were no different… Josh excited for middle school and Jake for his high school and college classes. Their excitement was contagious… so much so that last night after everyone was finally asleep…I found myself wanting to go back to college myself. (I haven’t signed up yet…but I’m still thinking about it)
The problem is the excitement they have now will almost certainly diminish over time. We all know this… because we’ve seen it happen time and time again. It has happened to others….and it has happened to us.
Why am I talking about excitement ? … I have a favorite article published by the (Harvard Management Update) entitled “Why Your Employees Are Losing Motivation“. Here is a small piece of the introduction.
The great majority of employees are quite enthusiastic when they start a new job. But in about 85 percent of companies, our research finds, employees’ morale sharply declines after their first six months-and continues to deteriorate for years afterward. That finding is based on surveys of about 1.2 million employees at 52 primarily Fortune 1000 companies from 2001 through 2004, conducted by Sirota Survey Intelligence (Purchase, New York).
Honestly… are you as excited on your job now as you were when you first started it? If the answer is yes… WOW, great for you! You are an exception to the vast majority of the workforce…and the world. Outside of yourself…what about your team? Are any of them (or all of them) in the 85% that the survey identifies as having lost it?
The most important questions might be…
”How can I/we create a culture that helps us to avoid losing motivation in the first place?”
“What can I/we do to get back that sense of excitement and enthusiasm we had when we first started the job?”
The article offers… some tremendous insights for leaders… I have linked to it here before ..but here it is again.
http://hbswk.hbs.edu/archive/5289.html/
Besides all that the article has to offer… I would simply add this.. One of most significant and insidious joy suckers and morale killers is the cynical, sarcastic and altogether negative voice of the dis-engaged members of the workforce. Their negativity can set up a cultural tone that quickly becomes an established excitement neutralizing norm…that sends a very loud message to new arrivals that “enthusiasm is not” what we show or do around here.
I know my kids will come home in a few months talking about what’s not right in their school…and some of it may be legitimate…but the majority of will simply be a parroted echo of what they hear in the hallways, from burned out teachers, and what they pick up on the playground. When I do….(actually before I do) You can bet we’ll be talking about our strategy to not allow our excitement and love for learning and life to be dimmed or diminished by such talk. Instead we will talk about a different kind of peer pressure… one where the positive possibilities and unlimited potential can grow. A playground where people are excited to play…and playing to win!
The perfect time to talk to your team members about their level of motivation is now. Is it where it used to be? Is it where they would like it to be? If not.. knowing it won’t get back to where it was without some change, without a plan, or without some help…. then what is the change that is needed, what is your plan to make that change happen, and how can I, your leader, help? Because… I want you, and we need you to be excited. Because I want to win… and I want you to win… I want us to win together and to be excited about the journey.
Kirk Out
The following bit of fun was intended to illustrate the differences between how men and women think (women more and men not so much). However it reminded me of the times in my life when instead of asking immediately to gain clarity and understanding… I over thought something to the point of nearly making myself sick.
Over thinking an issue (especially a relationship issue) rarely leads down the path that ends with giving the other person the benefit of the doubt. Most often this path also leads to a judgment that creates negative feelings in ourselves initially and simultaneously stunts the future potential of our relationship with that person from ever being fully realized.
There is a reason Stephen Covey spent so much time and emphasis in his teaching of the 7 habits on the principle of “Seeking First To Understand”… because when we do we won’t spend so much time making ourselves sick with worry by imagining something in our minds and then creating it in our lives by acting it out. Instead we should just …. ASK.
“Sure, ASKING can sometimes be hard…but the consequences of not asking can be much harder.”
Don’t let your insecurities rule you or ruin your relationships… people prefer being understood over being mis-understood. Give them what you would want – which is the benefit of the doubt and a chance to be understood
Don’t over think it… Just Ask!
Kirk Out…
While driving last week I heard a public service announcement offered by www.disabilitycampaign.org that really caught my attention. I wanted to find a link or online recording to share with you and couldn’t. So I sent an e-mail directly to their organization asking for help. I received a most wonderful response including the actual script they used for the commercial. I’ve included the script below …my favorite line is this one… “Pleasant words promote instruction.”
(here’s the PSA) Hi, I’m Joni Eareckson Tada and when I have to be transferred from my wheelchair onto an airplane, I try to remember to wear shoes that don’t fall off my feet-that can happen when I’m being lifted by my husband and a gate agent. Recently when I was being lifted onto a plane, my right shoe did fall off my foot. I could tell the gate agent felt a little taken back, like he didn’t know what to do. So with good humor, I said with a smile, “Hey, I’ll tell you what, you be the handsome prince. Put my shoe back on my foot and let’s see if the slipper fits and I am Cinderella!” We all got a good laugh out of that one. There’s a proverb that says, “Pleasant words promote instruction,” and whoever wrote that was right. It’s just something to remember in the struggles of life from all of us at www.DisabilityCampaign.org .
I have been blessed in times past to travel with friend and fellow speaker Chad Hymas and witnessed first hand his use of pleasant words promoting instruction as he wonderfully guides others to help him change seats, positions, clothes as he travels and whatever else it takes as he travels around the world as a speaker. I remember my wanting to be a good travel companion, to be helpful with his bags, his bed clothes his movement from a vehicle to his wheelchair etc. But my wanting to be helpful didn’t come withe experience I needed to really make it happen. Chad was an expert at providing that experience through his use of pleasant words as he provided instruction so I could do what was needed… and help as I wanted.
As I experienced the pleasant words of instruction from Chad… I also watched him provide to others at a level of mastery that was inspiring. When I asked him about it… he told me that like so many other things in his current life… this was a skill like so many others that he had needed to learn and master after the accident that had left him paralyzed. He freely admitted that he wasn’t that experienced at asking for help or providing “pleasant words ” to promote instruction beforehand.
Generally… people want to be helpful, but may not always know how to provide it…they don’t need judgment as much as they need inspiration and instruction provided in a pleasant way. The examples of Joni and Chad invite us all to overcome our own dis-abilities and seek to mastery in the art of pleasant instruction….until perhaps someday we may be recognized for the greatness of our efforts to make a positive difference in the lives of others.
“Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world. “–John Milton
When or if we let one of the toxic or unhappy 7 billion ruin our day by distracting us from all that we have to be grateful for …then we simultaneously may be allowing ourselves to be blocked from experiencing the transcendent moments that are latent in each and every day. I know that when I am distracted by frustration over real or perceived injustice… my mind can begin racing with “what is needed to make it right” or “what I should have said”…or what “I would like to have said”… and I can get all worked up and YUCK!
On the other hand … with discipline and deliberateness we can learn to quickly “let things go”…or better yet “never pick things up that can hurt us”… instead focus our thoughts and our energies on being our best…doing our best and being grateful for the peace that accompanies such thinking. It is in those moments of peace and gratitude that creative and constructive juices flow…and exciting encounters with everyday epiphanies occur.
Do You Encounter Everyday Epiphanies?
I hope you have many close encounters this week!
Kirk Out
If you have peace of mind, you don’t need to have anything else. If you don’t have it, it doesn’t matter much what else you do have. -Dalai Lama
“It’s up to us to determine our happiness. No one else is in charge. No one else is to blame. No one else gets the credit. Our happiness is tied to our willingness to be responsible for our own moods. That’s a certainty – one of few in this life.”
–Karen Casey
Today…. how happy will you choose to be?
Don’t be a blockhead and focus on not doing something… instead be smart and focus on doing!
One very smart thing to do is to learn something new.
Another very smart thing to do is to serve someone anonymously… a small unexpected act of service can go along way.
Another smart thing you can do is smile….(until your cheeks hurt)
Light up for someone… show some excitement for their success and accomplishments.
Heck… there are so many smart things we can do to bless lives, improve the workplace, and help others, and ourselves to feel better.
One very smart thing we can say… is “THANK YOU”
“Thank you for being a T4D subscriber”
Kirk out (Kirk t4d)
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