Posts Tagged With: stephen covey

An Incredible Obituary (post by Kirk Weisler)

I remember Stephen Covey teaching that we consider our own worldview… and what impact we would like to have on the world.  He would often invite seminar participants to imagine attending their own funerals and consider how they would like their eulogy to read.  (A true ‘Begin with the END in mind exercise)  Then he would ask if the current life choices and HABITS we were engaged in were leading towards that eulogy.  Or were they instead leading toward a eulogy that sounded more like… “He loved being with his projects more than his kids, had many professional goals and aspirations but few if any personal goals.  He achieved great professional success but his personal life was a disaster.

Tom Peters didn’t dig so deep but often asked a similar question… “What do you want on your Tombstone?”

Well the Huffington Post ran a piece recently that might just be the most Incredible Thing you and I read this week.  It is the obituary of Mary Mullaney also known as Pink to her family.

Mary A. “Pink” Mullaney was an 85-year-old Wisconsin woman who died on Sept. 1, leaving behind six children and 17 grandchildren. So adored was she by her family members that they crafted one of the loveliest obituaries we’ve ever read. It begins with “if you’re about to throw away an old pair of pantyhose, stop” — and only grows more colorful and strangely inspirational from there.

“We wanted something that showed who she was,” explained daughter Maryanne to “We said, ‘how can we be like her and carry her pinkness across?’”

Below is the family’s look back on the lessons of Mullaney’s life.


If you’re about to throw away an old pair of pantyhose, stop. Consider: Mary Agnes Mullaney (you probably knew her as “Pink”) who entered eternal life on Sunday, September 1, 2013. Her spirit is carried on by her six children, 17 grandchildren, three surviving siblings in New “Joisey”, and an extended family of relations and friends from every walk of life. We were blessed to learn many valuable lessons from Pink during her 85 years, among them: Never throw away old pantyhose. Use the old ones to tie gutters, child-proof cabinets, tie toilet flappers, or hang Christmas ornaments.

Also: If a possum takes up residence in your shed, grab a barbecue brush to coax him out. If he doesn’t leave, brush him for twenty minutes and let him stay.

Let a dog (or two or three) share your bed. Say the rosary while you walk them.

Go to church with a chicken sandwich in your purse. Cry at the consecration, every time. Give the chicken sandwich to your homeless friend after mass.

Go to a nursing home and kiss everyone. When you learn someone’s name, share their patron saint’s story, and their feast day, so they can celebrate. Invite new friends to Thanksgiving dinner. If they are from another country and you have trouble understanding them, learn to “listen with an accent.”

Never say mean things about anybody; they are “poor souls to pray for.”

Put picky-eating children in the box at the bottom of the laundry chute, tell them they are hungry lions in a cage, and feed them veggies through the slats.

Correspond with the imprisoned and have lunch with the cognitively challenged.

Do the Jumble every morning.

Keep the car keys under the front seat so they don’t get lost.

Make the car dance by lightly tapping the brakes to the beat of songs on the radio.

Offer rides to people carrying a big load or caught in the rain or summer heat. Believe the hitchhiker you pick up who says he is a landscaper and his name is “Peat Moss.”

Help anyone struggling to get their kids into a car or shopping cart or across a parking lot.

Give to every charity that asks. Choose to believe the best about what they do with your money, no matter what your children say they discovered online.

Allow the homeless to keep warm in your car while you are at Mass.

Take magazines you’ve already read to your doctors’ office for others to enjoy. Do not tear off the mailing label, “Because if someone wants to contact me, that would be nice.”

In her lifetime, Pink made contact time after time. Those who’ve taken her lessons to heart will continue to ensure that a cold drink will be left for the overheated garbage collector and mail carrier, every baby will be kissed, every nursing home resident will be visited, the hungry will have a sandwich, the guest will have a warm bed and soft nightlight, and the encroaching possum will know the soothing sensation of a barbecue brush upon its back.

Above all, Pink wrote — to everyone, about everything. You may read this and recall a letter from her that touched your heart, tickled your funny bone, or maybe made you say “huh?”

She is survived by her children and grandchildren whose photos she would share with prospective friends in the checkout line: Tim (wife Janice, children Timmy, Joey, T.J., Miki and Danny); Kevin (wife Kathy, children Kacey, Ryan, Jordan and Kevin); Jerry (wife Gita, children Nisha and Cathan); MaryAnne; Peter (wife Maria Jose, children Rodrigo and Paulo); and Meg (husband David Vartanian, children Peter, Lily, Jerry and Blase); siblings Anne, Helen, and Robert; and many in-laws, nieces, nephews, friends and family too numerous to list but not forgotten.

Pink is reunited with her husband and favorite dance and political debate partner, Dr. Gerald L. Mullaney, and is predeceased by six siblings.

The Link is here –

Categories: kirk weisler, coffee sugar, exercise 3, yoga class, and walking in the garden. | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

The Gate Is Open – Don’t let the Trust Out (by Kirk Weisler)

Today I wan to talk about TRUST.

Without boring you to tears with the details… someone took advantage of my son yesterday and took over one of his FaceBook fan pages.  He has gathered a staggering 766,000 likes on it and was just starting to get some advertising offers.  Sadly, we apparently need Tom Cruise and the Mission Impossible Team to get help from FaceBook.   Literally there seems to be no way to penetrate Facebooks “we don’t talk to our users firewall”.   HELP REQUEST!!  So if any of you know anyone that can help my Jake get his page back… I would love your help.  Thank you.

Now for the today’s thought… (the picture above was sent in yesterday by Marci..-thanks)  It was just what I needed after a few frustrating hours trying to get my sons page back.  More than that though was the absolute disappointment of being lied to repeatedly and conned by a person who seemingly did it just for the enjoyment of doing it.  I felt like someone had broken into our home and taken something valuable… TRUST.

TRUST — I am blessed in the vast majority of my relationships to enjoy high levels of trust. My wife tells me I am “too trusting”…and perhaps she is right. (She usually is). But for my part I like trusting people, I like leading with trust and I like living in trust.  I am always embarrassed when I do things that
diminish trust.  Things like …forgetting to follow through, return a phone call or e-mail, or even show up late to a meeting. These might seem like little things…but in the world and context of trust…. the little things can be the biggest things of all.

Stephen Covey was once asked how trust might be restored after it was lost or diminished.  His reply was simple and profound.  He said it takes time, and consistency…but the best way he knew to restore and build trust was to “Make a promise and keep it.” It doesn’t matter if the promise was big or small…only that it was kept.  Then after it was kept… a make another one and keep it…. repeat, repeat, repeat.

One of my heroes (a great teacher in my life) said this.. “It is better to be trusted than to be loved”.

I didn’t get it at first…because I was young and thought that being loved and loving others was better was more important than anything.  But the more I thought about it.. the more sense it made.  Love is important… no question about it.  But you can love someone and not trust them… in fact this is very common.   So would you rather be loved and not trusted…or trusted and not loved?

I conclude that for my part … I would rather be trusted.

Trust is a must!!  Make it a great day… and live it like the gate was left open and you are free to build relationships…of trust!

Kirk Out

Categories: kirk weisler, coffee sugar, exercise 3, yoga class, and walking in the garden. | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

Don’t Overthink It… Just Ask (post by Kirk Weisler)

The following bit of fun was intended to illustrate the differences between how men and women think (women more and men not so much).  However it reminded me of the times in my life when instead of asking immediately to gain clarity and understanding… I over thought something to the point of nearly making myself sick.

Over thinking an issue (especially a relationship issue) rarely leads down the path that ends with giving the other person the benefit of the doubt.  Most often this path also leads to a judgment that creates negative feelings in ourselves initially and simultaneously stunts the future potential of our relationship with that person from ever being fully realized.

There is a reason Stephen Covey spent so much time and emphasis in his teaching of the 7 habits on the principle of “Seeking First To Understand”… because when we do we won’t spend so much time making ourselves sick with worry by imagining something in our minds and then creating it in our lives by acting it out.  Instead we should just …. ASK.

“Sure,  ASKING can sometimes be hard…but the consequences of not asking can be much harder.”

Don’t let your insecurities rule you or ruin your relationships… people prefer being understood over being mis-understood.  Give them what you would want – which is the benefit of the doubt and a chance to be understood

Don’t over think it… Just Ask!

Kirk Out…

Categories: kirk weisler, coffee sugar, exercise 3, yoga class, and walking in the garden. | Tags: , | Leave a comment

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