For years I had a mild-to-medium case of insomnia, often staying up late
watching crappy television and eating junk food because I couldn’t fall
asleep, no matter how tired I was.
It is miserable. You walk through the day like a zombie, unable to
function properly. You desperately try to sleep but nothing works.
Sleeping pills leave you feeling drugged out.
My first simple cure was running. I’d try to get up 15 minutes earlier
each day to run, and the running would leave me very tired but I still
had a day ahead of me. I’d be so exhausted by bedtime that I slept
instantly. Hard exercise is a great fix for insomnia.
Recently I’ve had another slight bout of insomnia, and so I rediscovered
a trick I learned several years ago. It’s so simple it seems like it
can’t possibly work, but it unfailingly does.
The simplest cure for insomnia: get comfortable and close your eyes, and
then replay your day in your head, in every detail possible, from the
moment you woke up. Start from the moment your eyes opened, and replay
every movement – getting out of bed, starting the coffeemaker, going to
the bathroom, washing your hands, or whatever. Don’t summarize – leave
nothing out.
It works. I’ve never made it to mid-morning in my mind movies. I
inevitably fall asleep. It’s much better than counting sheep (I’ve
tried) and even better than mediation (I’ve done that too). Try it, and
when it works, praise me in your dreams.
It’s amazing how big a difference a little thing can make. Starting your day mindfully with some tea, for example, can change your entire day. Clearing your desk will make your work day amazing. A smile from a loved one can mean the world.
And when these little things are repeated daily, and formed into habits, their benefits increase not just by multiples but by exponents.
The little habits can be life-changing.
Everyone’s world-changing little habits will be different, but I’ll share a few of mine, and then some tips for forming them.
My Little Habits
I have lots of little habits, but these are a handful of my favorites:
1. Get-in-the-door ritual. Whenever I get home, the first thing I do is put my stuff away. I have a designated spot for my keys, cash/cards (I don’t use a wallet), phone, and coins. Everything else either gets tossed or put wherever it belongs. If we brought something home like groceries or library books, those get put away, right away. This is an important little ritual because even people who have simplified their homes notice that possessions and junk can build up over time — and that starts with what you bring in. It’s no use simplifying and organizing if it just gets cluttered and disorganized every time you come home.
2. Put clothes away. It’s so simple, but when I take clothes off, they either go in the hamper or I fold them & put them in my drawer or hang them in the closet. Others drape them over chairs or throw them on the floor or bed, and sorting through them later becomes a major chore. By doing it right away, things stay organized and I don’t have to worry about cleaning up later.
3. Wash my bowl. When I finish eating, I wash my dishes by hand, mindfully. No mess to clean up later. Read more.
4. Prepare meals in advance. This is important when I’m trying to stick to an eating plan. Cooking your own meals is the healthiest (and most frugal) choice, but if you have to cook three to six times a day, it’ll get too cumbersome and you’re likely to give up. So I prepare my food in bulk (for 3-6 days in advance), and eat the same meals all week. It’s no harder than cooking smaller meals. I only make food that I adore, so I don’t get bored. It’s super easy to stay on a meal plan this way.
5. Just step out the door. My motto for exercise. Most people have a hard time with motivation to do workouts, but not me. First of all, I only do workouts I love, so I actually look forward to them. But second, I never think about how I don’t feel like doing a workout — because I tell myself that all I have to do is get on my shoes and get out the door. The rest flows naturally.
6. Clear distractions. When I’m ready to do a task, I clear all distractions. Small action, huge difference.
7. Take a walk & reflect. Taking a short walk is such a simple thing to do — you can do it during your lunch break, or take a break when you’ve been working for a couple hours straight. It only needs to be 10-20 minutes. But oh boy, what a world of difference. Not only does the walk relieve stress and clear your head, it gives you an opportunity to reflect on what you’ve been doing, and reflection is one of the most important tools for changing your life.
8. Breathe. When I get stressed, I simply breathe.
How to Form Them
I’ve written about habits numerous times before, but here’s an easy guide to forming a little habit:
§ Do one habit at a time.
§ Make it easy to do.
§ Do it consciously, very consciously at first.
§ Don’t allow any exceptions.
§ Post your progress publicly.
§ Keep doing it, every single day.
§ Enjoy the habit.
Forming a habit can be easy, if you enjoy it, take it slowly, and do it mindfully.
Train Blog – Once again, the birds are singing, it’s not raining so it’s a good day to ride the train. NOT!! I can take the smell of “Weed deFleur”, over powering perfume/cologne but I cannot take the smell of “no bath in a month” smell. I am on a train with the heat on!! How can I focus on reading my good book?!?! How I say? I had to cover my nose with my jacket the whole 15 min ride. Homey did not get off before me so I suffered the pain, the agony, the holding the breath!! Other people moved to a different seat but this morning I have the woozy so moving on a moving train would not be a pretty site (hehehehehe) When I got off, I exhaled and inhaled the sweet morning air. Note to self – bring gas mask on train next time. lol lol lol lol Good Morning Y’all!!
I wanted a bit of smile to assist me in setting a tone for the day and week ahead… the following short bit did it for me.
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week, the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (AND LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM.
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.” (MEN JUST AREN’T EQUIPPED FOR THESE SORT OF CONTESTS)
The “silent treatment” takes many forms in the corporate world and the resulting casualties are always trust, relationships and ultimately culture. I’ve had more clients in the last 6 months, than the previous 9 years, use the term “passive aggressive” in their attempts to describe what is plaguing their workplace. E-mail is often the favored weapon of the passive aggressive culture. Tactics include withholding needed details, CC-ing everyone in the chain of command – especially when a “point is being made”. Not replying promptly or replying late at night to “let them know” you are working late…can also contribute to negative feelings in the workplace. (I love Tim Sanders 12 rules for E-mails … great video on his Rule # 3 click here)
With all this potentially going on in the world of work… we must be more deliberate, decided and determined than ever before that we will not reciprocate or participate . We will not be pulled into the petty by acting pious or pitiful. We will rise above such things and model the behaviors more apt to be seen in Mary Poppins than in episodes of “The Office”. And I don’t mean the Banker guy, at least until the end of the Movie, where he takes his family(home team), to the park to “Go Fly a Kite”)
In fact.. wouldn’t it be wonderful if the next office culture building event ..was a Kite Flying Contest? If any of you do… please send me pictures. I don’t think I have flown a kite in at least 15 years.
When we get out of ICU and Home… we are going to go FLY A KITE!
An infant’s smile or a child’s laugh is magical. Receiving a smile from an infant or child elicits an automatic smile from any adult. Parents, grandparents and adults alike will perform varying degrees of happy face antics in the hope of getting a baby to smile. Medical studies have determined that laughing is both contagious and healthy.
I it’s most demure mode, laughing will manifest itself visually as a smile maybe coupled with some wide eye contact. At the other extreme end of the laughing scale, you will realize Visual, Kinesthetic, and Auditory displays – leg slapping, belly shaking, body contorting laughter! Just thinking about this ‘Laugh Attack’ brings a smile to your face. Remembering or thinking about laughter itself physically and mentally emotes all the positive effects of actually laughing.
The beautiful thing about laughter is that it is contagious. It matters not whether you initiate laughing or it comes from some other source, the health benefits of laughing have been studied and documented.
Laughter is the BEST MEDICINE!
Yet, laughter is still one of the least understood of human behaviors and one that is just now a serious study by scientists. Science has been able to determine three parts of the brain are activated during a good laugh:
1) a thinking or cognitive area for understanding the joke,
2) a movement or kinesthetic part for initiating muscle movement, and
3) an emotional region that derives the “giddy” feeling. Why do people laugh at jokes delivered while others laugh at incongruities like pain inflicted or a threatening situations? Is laughter a signal indicating a action is meant “in fun”? These things are still being studied.
Laughter makes us (and others) feel better.
Studies have identified a number of areas, where applying laughter, will be a positive and healthy experience. Feel better by laughing:
1) Health and laughing
A) lifts up your mood
B) is contagious and positive
C) is stress reducing
D) has proven long term connections to improved mental health
2) Learning and laughter has shown that
A) levity as a teaching style reduces fear and anxiety and opens students up to learning and absorbing
B) well-planned, appropriate, contextual humor can help students ingrain information
3) Relationships and laughing
A) help create a social lubricant that, in groups, encourages cooperation and altruistic behavior
B) is believed to be one of the earliest forms of communication; especially, emotional communication. Laughter could have preceded the spoken word and bonded groups in pre-historic society.
“By the time a child reaches nursery school, he or she will laugh about 300 times a day. Adults laugh an average of 17 times a day.” “Science of Laughter” Discovery Health
Clearly as adults we do not laugh enough. Here are ten ideas to improve and increase laughter [and fun] in your life:
1) Receive, Share and Tell Jokes – email is awesome for this and so are social gatherings. Telling jokes (and learning what jokes are appropriate) will prove to improve your social and public speaking skills.
2) Share humorous personal stories – stories about yourself will allow you to laugh at yourself. Laughing at yourself is a great way to express and learn from our mistakes and little foibles.
3) With your family and friends play group games that require group interaction (Parlour Games) – old standards and board games (like Charades, Pictionary, Balderdash, Cranium, Trivial Pursuit, Humzinger) or more organized themed events like a Murder Mystery Night. Excellent for a varied group of age and shyness. These are just FUN! Play like children!
4) Laugh out loud – not just a chuckle, a deep laugh that works the lungs and belly (maybe even brings tears to your eyes). Laughing equals Happy and Happy equals Healthy!
5) Karoke or new video games like Guitar Hero – whether at home or at a public event, singing and music are excellent and fun group situations that will help create fun and laughter!
6) Meet your group at a favorite pub or watering hole – conversation and stories will naturally make you laugh. Have fun!
7) Play Kids’ Games – nothing allow you to play like a child than playing with your children or grandchildren. And nothing is more liberating than laughing with children!
8) Learn with friends – experience learning a new language or go to dance class with other people or couples. Laughing will open you up to a better learning experience.
9) Host a Party (maybe with a Fun Theme (item 3) – a casual informal gathering (BYOB, BBQ, Campfire or Dinner Party) will always give people an opportunity to meet and share. Invite fun people and you will create a fun and memorable event.
10) Do something you have never done before – with other people or friends, step out and do something new (community fair, site seeing, small airplane ride, hot air balloon, casino, a day at the track, snowmobiling, skiing). With a group you have both the benefit of increased support and protection. Have fun!
Fun and Laughter is best in a social group setting.
Do Not attempt Laughter alone. It is best served with friends.
Do you hear a lot of excuses why he or she forgot to spend some quality time with you?
Are you criticized for every little thing you do?
Do you feel unappreciated, appreciated, disrespected or feel like you have to compete for someone’s love?
If the answer is “yes”….then it’s time to make a decision.
Do you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you? Do you want to continue fighting for time, attention and respect? Do you want to continue feeling lonely? You train people how to treat you based on the way you treat yourself. If you continue to accept bad treatment, your silence and acceptance is giving the other person permission to continue acting that way. He or she either doesn’t care or doesn’t know what you expect in your relationship. You deserve love, respect, communication and loyalty. Speak up and get up and stand up for your self-respect.
–Jewel Diamond Taylor, Motivational speaker and Author.
“The more enthusiastic you are in your day-to-day work; the more you display enthusiasm in your daily work, the more likely you will attract the attention of positive, enthusiastic people. ~ Robert Ringer
Enthusiasm isn’t some unique gift…bestowed on a select few. Rather I like to view it as a muscle or group of muscles that we are all born with. You can exercise and strengthen your enthusiasm with practice and a sense of purpose…and you will get better at it. Sad is the man or woman who neglects this muscle group and lets it atrophy into misery.
Today and everyday…practice with purpose and exercise your enthusiasm… until it is an obvious and undeniable strength…. that can be counted in times of challenge and change….as well as in the wonderful moments of leisure and recreation.
A man from Norfolk, VA called a local radio station to share this on Sept 11th, 2003, TWO YEARS AFTER THE TRAGEDIES OF 9/11/2001.
His name was Robert Matthews. These are his words:
A few weeks before Sept. 11th, my wife and I found out we were going to have our first child. She planned a trip out to California to visit her sister. On our way to the airport, we prayed that God would grant my wife a safe trip and be with her. Shortly after I said ‘amen,’ we both heard a loud pop and the car shook violently. We had blown out a tire. I replaced the tire as quickly as I could, but we still missed her flight. Both very upset, we drove home. I received a call from my father who was retired NYFD. He asked what my wife’s flight number was, but I explained that we missed the flight.
My father informed me that her flight was the one that crashed into the southern tower. I was too shocked to speak. My father also had more news for me; he was going to help. ‘This is not something I can’t just sit by for; I have to do something.’
I was concerned for his safety, of course, but more because he had never given his life to Christ. After a brief debate, I knew his mind was made up. Before he got off of the phone, he said, ‘take good care of my grandchild. Those were the last words I ever heard my father say; he died while helping in the rescue effort.
My joy that my prayer of safety for my wife had been answered quickly became anger. I was angry at God, at my father, and at myself. I had gone for nearly two years blaming God for taking my father away. My son would never know his grandfather, my father had never accepted Christ, and I never got to say good-bye.
Then something happened. About two months ago, I was sitting at home with my wife and my son, when there was a knock on the door. I looked at my wife, but I could tell she wasn’t expecting anyone. I opened the door to a couple with a small child.
The man looked at me and asked if my father’s name was Jake Matthews. I told him it was. He quickly grabbed my hand and said, ‘I never got the chance to meet your father, but it is an honour to meet his son.’
He explained to me that his wife had worked in the World Trade Centre and had been caught inside after the attack. She was pregnant and had been caught under debris. He then explained that my father had been the one to find his wife and free her. My eyes welled up with tears as I thought of my father giving his life for people like this. He then said, ‘there is something else you need to know.’
His wife then told me that as my father worked to free her, she talked to him and led him to Christ. I began sobbing at the news.
Now I know that when I get to Heaven, my father will be standing beside Jesus to welcome me, and that this family would be able to thank him themselves.
When their baby boy was born, they named him Jacob Matthew, in honour of the man who gave his life so that a mother and baby could live.
This story should help us to realize this: God is always in control.
We may not see the reason behind things, and we may never know this side of heaven, but God is ALWAYS in control.
Please take time to share this amazing story. You may never know the impact it may have on someone. God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
Give thanks to the Lord for He is good. His love endures forever. Psalm 136:1
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