TFTD – I have been through some terrible things…(post by Kirk Weisler)
I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened. ~ Mark Twain
You can lead your life with forbidding thoughts of doom and gloom and prove yourself right…by actually creating the darkness or at least inviting it with your dark outlook. Or you can life your life with hope and optimism and allowing yourself to be a creator or reflector of light. Either way unexpected and unfortunate things will still happen. But it is easy to see which of our predetermined outlooks will best serve us in our journey through those circumstances.
Let’s look forward to and create a most wonderful and worry free weekend.
Kirk out
How to Finish (post written by Leo Babuta)
Many of us are good at starting things — it’s the finishing that we need help with.
The truth is, it might seem funny that my post on “How to Finish” sat unfinished for 7 days, but I’m actually decent at finishing. I start a whole bunch of articles and books, and let those ideas germinate. When I’m ready to focus on them, I get them to done pretty easily.
How? Many people wrote in to ask me to write a post called “How to Finish” after I wrote about How to Start. Reader Anthony Zullo, for example, asked:
“You know when you get to the middle of a project, like a novel and start to lose motivation. Well, how do you develop that motivation after you’re half way up the hill but not yet walking downhill yet?”
I don’t have all the answers, but I’ll gladly share what works for me.
Motivation
For me, finishing is all about motivation. If you’re having a difficult time finishing, it’s best to look closely at why you want to finish in the first place.
If the task or project isn’t something you want to do, consider the consequences of dropping it. I’ve done this often and it’s a relief when I finally drop something I didn’t really want to do in the first place.
If you really do want to do the task/project, ask why. What do you get out of it? Do you love doing it? Is there some benefit you’ll get? Visualize that — it might get you going.
If you need more motivation, find a way to give yourself some public accountability. Set a deadline, do a blog post, tweet about finishing. A little positive public pressure can be a good thing.
Get Moving
In my post, How to Start, I shared a tip for getting going:
Make it ridiculously easy to get started. Make the task so small, so easy, you can’t say no — make it just 1 minute long, for example, or even just 20 seconds.
Use the same tip for finishing: break your task into tiny little mini-steps, and just get started on each one by making them so easy you can’t *not* do it. And keep doing that, repeatedly, until you’re done.
It’s that simple. If you can’t write a whole chapter of your book or report, just write a paragraph or two. Take a walk around for a minute, then write another paragraph or two. Keep doing this until you’re done.
Then go out and tell the world you finished. It’s awesome.
Vote Them Off the Island – (thought by Kirk Weisler)
The worst voice of the brand *is* the brand – by Seth Godin
We either ignore your brand or we judge it, usually with too little information. And when we judge it, we judge it based on the actions of the loudest, meanest, most selfish member of your tribe.
When a zealot advocates violence, outsiders see all members of his tribe as advocates of violence.
When a doctor rips off Medicare, all doctors are seen as less trustworthy.
When a fundamentalist advocates destruction of outsiders, all members of that organization are seen as intolerant.
When a soldier commits freelance violence, all citizens of his nation are seen as violent.
When a car rental franchise rips off a customer, all outlets of the franchise suffer.
Seems obvious, no? I wonder, then, why loyal and earnest members of the tribe hesitate to discipline, ostracize or expel the negative outliers.
“You’re hurting us, this is wrong, we are expelling you.”
What do you stand for?
I was doing some reading yesterday and came across this short bit of wisdom from Seth Godin. It reminded me of all the leaders who have approached me over the years looking for insight on what they can do to handle an extremely negative or toxic member of their tribe. Sometimes they feel their hands are tied by union or governmental issues…and maybe they are. Most of the time though it seems that the leader is just hesitant to do what they know needs to be done. And most of the time leaders wait far too long to take the needed action.
What if it wasn’t up to the leader? What if it was like an episode of survivor where you had a weekly peer vote and the least contributing member (the one that was bringing down your brand ) was voted off!
When I was going through the 2 month long US Army Ranger training we did something like this every 2 weeks. We had to identify the least contributing member of our team and pass the name to our instructor. If the vast majority of the team turned in the same name then that person packed their bags and we never saw them again. (Unlike the TV show there was no follow up interview asking them if they felt betrayed or asking the team if we felt guilty about sending them packing).
There was no guilt, no hesitation and no regrets. We never even discussed them again… who has time, energy or even the desire to talk about such things. Weed out the whiners, porcupines and skunks and move on. There is a mission to accomplish and I want accomplish it with the most elite bunch of super talented freaky tribal members we can gather to our cause.
Get em off the Island, get them away from our brand, so we can, without the baggage of their distraction, get on with the mission !
Kirk Out
Friday Fun by Kirk Weisler
“Out of the mouths of babes come words we shouldn’t have said in the first place.” (So speak carefully)
“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” (So give generously)
Out With the Boys
A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spent his entire paycheck. When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.
Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him. “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?”
To which he replied, “That would be fine with me.”
Monday went by and he didn’t see his wife.
Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
Make it a great weekend and don’t spend your whole paycheck….unless you are hunting for trouble!
TFTD
Who you are and what’s inside you is all that matters. Live well and know you have all of eternity to stand tall in the doorways of your life.
~Gigi Galluzzo
All You Can (by Kirk Weisler)
Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can.
However when it comes to “All you can eat” moderation is recommend.
Let’s make today as great as we possibly CAN.
Kirk Out
Hello Fear (Lyrics by Kirk Franklin)
Hello Fear
Before you sit down there’s something I need to explain
Since you’re here
I think I should tell you since we last talked things have changed
See I’m tired of being broken-hearted
So I made a list and you’re on it
All my hopes and my dreams You took from me
I want those back before you leave
Hello Fear
I knew I would see you, You have a hard time letting go
See these tears, Take a good look cuz, soon they won’t fall anymore
God’s healing my hurtful places
That seat that was yours now is taken
I’m no longer afraid, See I’m better this way
And one more thing before you leave
(Chorus)
Never again will I love you
My heart it refuses to be your home
No longer your prisoner
Today I remember
Apart from you is where I belong
And never again will I trust you
I’m tired of fighting it’s been way too long
No longer your prisoner
Today I remember
Who I was and now it’s gone
They’re gone
Hello Grace
It feels like forever, I thought my chance with you was gone
See your face, it reminds me of mercy
And please let me say I was wrong
Never knew your touch was endless
How you never run dry of forgiveness
Didn’t know how bad it was, was afraid just because
Sorry fear, grace took your place
A hole in the sidewalk (TFTD from Kirk Weisler)
I hope you realize that you are not as different from other people as you may feel. As a psychologist, I have the unique opportunity to listen in as people share their private battles. Although we often fight these battles in the lonely spaces of our own minds, we might be surprised to learn just how common our experience really is. This brief passage captures it so well.
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters by Portia Nelson
I – I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in
I am lost…I am helpless
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
II – I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
III – I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in…it’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
IV – I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
V – I walk down another street.
Which chapter are you on? ~ Paul H. Jenkins, Ph.D.
9 Mindfulness Rituals to Make Your Day Better
“Smile, breathe and go slowly.” – Thich Nhat Hanh, Zen Buddhist monk
Post written by Leo Babauta.Are you simply moving through your day, without fully living? I did this for many years. It was as if life were just passing by, and I was waiting for something to happen. I always felt like I was preparing for something later. But today isn’t preparation for tomorrow. Today’s the main event. Fully live today by being mindful. I realize this is easier said than done — mindfulness is a habit that’s not easily picked up. And so I’ve decided to share with you some of my favorite mindfulness rituals to help you appreciate every moment. You don’t need to do all of these, but give a few of them a try to see if they make your day better. Mindfulness RitualsRitual isn’t about doing a routine mindlessly. It’s a way of building something good into your life, so that you don’t forget what’s important. Done mindfully, a ritual can remind you to be conscious. Done mindlessly, a ritual is meaningless. Here are a few of my favorites: 1. Sit in the morning. When you wake up, in the quiet of the morning, perhaps as your coffee is brewing, get a small cushion and sit on the floor. I will often use this opportunity to stretch, as I am very inflexible. I feel every muscle in my body, and it is like I am slowly awakening to the day. I’ll also just sit, and focus on my breathing going in and out. I’m an absolute beginner when it comes to meditation, but this always starts my day right. 2. Brush your teeth. I assume we all brush our teeth, but often we do it while thinking of other things. Try fully concentrating on the action of brushing, on each stroke of each tooth, going from one side of the mouth to the other. You end up doing a better job, and it helps you realize how much we do on autopilot. 3. Eat mindfully. Turn off the TV, put away the computer and mobile devices, even put away the book or newspaper. If you eat with any of these things (most people do), eating without them will seem boring. And yet, unless you do this, you are not truly appreciating your food. I like eating my oats (with nuts and berries — see my diet) mindfully, paying attention to each bite. It makes the food taste better, and I eat slowly and with gratefulness. 4. Wash your bowl. When you’re done eating, wash your dish immediately. Do it while paying full attention to your washing, to the water and suds. Read more. 5. Drink tea. There’s something ancient about the tea ceremony — and when you drink tea as a mindfulness ritual, you’re connecting with millions of others who have done so over the centuries. Make your own tea ceremony — prepare the tea carefully and mindfully, pour it slowly, sip it with thoughtfulness. See if you can set aside one time each day to do this, and it will transform your day. 6. Walk slowly. I like to take breaks from work, and go outside for a little walk. Walk slowly, each step a practice in awareness. Pay attention to your breathing, to everything around you, to the sounds and light and texture of objects. 7. Read in silence. Find a quiet time (mornings or evenings are great for me), and a quiet spot, and read a good novel. Have no television or computers on nearby, and just immerse yourself in the world of the novel. It might seem contradictory to let your mind move from the present into the time of the novel, but it’s a great practice in focus. Also, I love a good novel more than almost anything else. 8. Look at someone gratefully. Each day, find someone you care about. Instead of just seeing what you always see, really look at the person. Try not to do it creepily. See this person for the miracle that she is, and be grateful for her existence. If you’re feeling generous, tell that person how thankful you are for her. 9. Work with focus. Start your workday by choosing one task that will make a big difference in your work, and clearing everything else away. Just do that one task, and don’t switch to other tasks. Single-tasking is a great way to find focus. Increase your Monk Mind. These rituals aren’t the only time you should be mindful, but they’re great reminders. Today, try a few of them to fully live and fully appreciate this wonderful day. |
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