Be Kind & Gracious to Others
Post by Phebe Montalto

I hope people really take a minute out of their busy day to think about this.
Take a good look at this beautiful woman.
I never knew who she was until late last night. I heard about her passing, so I dug in a little deeper. My first thought was, why would someone so beautiful and full of life feel so despondent that it would lead to this?
Surely she had to have a TON of friends.
I mean, three years ago Cheslie Kryst won the title of Miss NC and went on to be Crowned Miss USA.
As I scrolled through her IG, I studied her face very intently in her most recent posts.
I listened to her voice in her videos. Two weeks ago, as a correspondent for EXTRA, she did an interview with Denzel Washington. They were belly laughing, full face smiling, and completely engaged with one another.
I studied her face and wondered if there were any signs that people who knew her might have missed.
Not only did she seem happy, she seemed on top of the world.
Yesterday she jumped from the 29th story of a 60 story building, leaving only a note behind. I’ve wondered what it said.
I don’t know what pain she must have been feeling that lead her to make that decision. I thought about how she made her farewell post on IG, only 30 minutes prior to her being found on that cold NYC street. I wondered what her dialogue was as she prepared for that moment.
In the end, all of those questions led me to the conclusion that we never know what those around us are suffering from, and dealing with.
I don’t think it’s necessarily mental illness that always leads to these decisions. It can be immense pain that came on all at once. It can be trying to please others, it can be a shattered heart.
Even for those with big personalities, magnetic smiles, and what looks to be a big world of opportunities.
I think the lesson is that we need to be sensitive to those around us. We need to check in with each other. We need to stop being too busy to care.
Treat others well. Extend grace and mercy. Look someone in the eye when you ask how they are doing. Look up from your phones when you’re having dinner together. When you ask someone how they are doing, ask more questions when they say “good, fine, or ok”.
Call someone. Don’t just text them. Hear their voice. Really Listen to them. Don’t hide behind words on a screen. Don’t let up if they avoid you. They might need someone to “prove” they love them, care for them, can trust them, and won’t judge them.
Be willing to get messy. Life gets messy. It’s not always as pretty as a social media post, or a beautiful picture.
Pain has become taboo. People don’t want to be burdened with it. But we HAVE to be willing to share in people’s grief sometimes to help lighten the load.
Love others. Love them well. Be kind as often as possible. Extend grace as often as necessary.
And always let people know you love them. That they matter. Don’t assume they are already hearing it. Even if they are, your voice just might be the one they needed to hear, to really believe it.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 suicidepreventionlifeline.org
Don’t Be A Duck
I was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing I noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for me.
He handed me a laminated card and said: ‘I’m Wasu, your driver. While I’m loading your bags in the trunk I’d like you to read my mission statement.’
Taken aback, I read the card. It said: Wasu’s Mission Statement:
To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest, and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment.
This blew me away. Especially when I noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean!
As he slid behind the wheel, Wasu said, ‘Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf.’
I said jokingly, ‘No, I’d prefer a soft drink.’
Wasu smiled and said, ‘No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, lassi, water, and orange juice.’
Almost stuttering, I said, ‘I’ll take a lassi since I’ve never had one before.’
Handing me my drink, Wasu said, ‘If you’d like something to read, I have Good Housekeeping magazine, Reader’s Digest, The Bible, and a Travel + Leisure magazine.’
As they were pulling away, Wasu handed me another laminated card, ‘These are the stations I get and the music they play if you’d like to listen to the radio.’
And as if that weren’t enough, Wasu told me that he had the heater on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for me.
Then he advised me of the best route to my destination for that time of day. He also let me know that he’d be happy to chat and tell me about some of the sights or, if I preferred, to leave me with my own thoughts.
‘Tell me, Wasu,’ I was amazed and asked him, ‘have you always served customers like this?’
Wasu smiled into the rearview mirror. ‘No, not always. In fact, it’s only been in the last two years. During my first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard about the power of choice one day.’
‘Power of choice is that you can be a duck or an eagle.’
‘If you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you’ll rarely disappoint yourself. Stop complaining!’
‘Don’t be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd.’
‘That hit me right,’ said Wasu. He continued and said, ‘It is about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more.’
‘I take it that has paid off for you,’ I said.
‘It sure has,’ Wasu replied. ‘My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I’ll probably quadruple it. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on it.’
Wasu made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles.
Have an eagle life ahead…..
—Adapted (post from Facebook)




