by Talknology Tips
Fly Above It
Life
We must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind us to the fact that each moment of life
is a miracle and mystery.
― H. G. Wells
Did I just do that again? (post by Kirk Weisler)
Have you ever made the same mistake twice? I certainly have. Did you then tell yourself it was just a mistake? But if we want to own it, and we DO. Then perhaps starting with the simple truth shared above.
Hey it’s Wednesday… so half of my weeks worth of mistakes are in the can. 
Kirk Out
Most Embarrassing Things Ever Blurted Out By Kids (by Dan Pearce)
“What is the most embarrassing thing your child has ever blurted out to others?”
BY DAN PEARCE (danoah.com) ·
CATEGORIES: BROUGHT TO YOU BY YOU, HUMOR, PARENTING, POPULAR POSTS
- One time while in the fitting room, I overheard a little boy say, quite loudly, “Mommy, are you buying this new swimsuit because you poop-farted in your one last year?”
- While out on a river in a boat with a bunch of friends, my 10-year-old announced she needs to go to the bathroom. I calmly tell her she’s gonna have to wait, to which she yells, “Mom, I have to poop! I’m crowning!”
- “Mom, please don’t sell me on Craigslist! I’ll be good.”
- During my divorce, while the kids and I were at Walmart buying groceries, I put a bottle of wine in my cart and my daughter yells, “Oh, look, Mom’s sad again.”
- My daughter once yelled out “I LOVE VAGINA” as loud as possible in a Walmart. Too bad she was actually referring to LASAGNA – which is what we were having for dinner.
- After getting new Toy Story undies, my son yelled to the drive-through workers at Chick-fil-A, “I’ve gotta woody in my pants!”
- The priest stood up for the second time to speak at my grandson’s Christening yesterday and as he began to speak my 5 year old son yelled, “Oh no, not again”.
- My son was feeling really badly about pooping his pants, so to make him feel better I told him that it happens to everyone, even mommy. The next day we walked in to daycare and told the lead teacher “Yesterday I pooped my pants, but mom said it was ok; it happens to her all the time.”
- My eldest once said “Mom, did you know there are people who don’t want kids?!” I asked how he knew that to which he replied “THEY BUY CARS WITH ONLY TWO DOORS!”
- When I was pregnant, I ended up having to take my three year old daughter to one of my OB appointments. My doctor had to do a vaginal exam to which my daughter replied loudly “Mommy, how come you show your ‘gina to EVERYONE!!??”
- In church, right at the elevation of the Host, my then four year old yelled, “Mom, did you know a cat’s butt is called an ANUS?”
- I was at a store when a toddler was asking her mother for something. The mother was very agitated at the toddler and the toddler blurted out “Mommy needs more wine!”
- Playing with my daughter when she was six and singing Little Bunny Foo-Foo… After a minute she stopped and said “wow, that Bunny Foo-Foo is a real b****!”
- I was volunteering in a third grade classroom reading the Weekly Readers with a group of students. The topic was The Great American Smoke Out when people are encouraged to quit smoking for a day. One little boy proclaimed his Mommy’s boyfriend smoked in the house… But only when Daddy was away on business.
- “Mommy, that lady’s butt is even bigger than yours!!!”
- My nine year old daughter said “Dad, Mom said I’m like you. I don’t have any common sense. Is that true?”
- My son, then five, was on his first soccer team. The color of the team was blue. The coach and the team gather around to choose a name. “Any ideas?”, the coach asks. My son yells out “Blue balls!”
- My, then two year old, being held by a woman who drew on her eyebrows, exclaimed “You have something on your face!” Followed by proudly wiping off one eyebrow, he said, “There I got it for ya!”
- Walking through a department store lingerie department and my then 5 year old bellows, “Mama, why are you looking at panties? You don’t wear those!”
- After biting his little sister, a friend of ours jokingly told our son, “sisters don’t taste good, but girlfriends do”. Much to my horror, he repeated it to his entire kindergarten class.
- We were at church and they called the young children to the front to talk about tithing and stealing and they asked, “If you found some money lying on the ground, what would you do?” My then four year old daughter replied, “Finders keepers, losers weepers.”
- While getting communion, I was holding my two year old daughter. After I received communion my daughter promptly said, “Where’s my damn cookie?”
- “Mommy has a badonkadonk butt!”
- “How come you don’t have any money? Are we POOR!?” at the Walmart checkout when I told her we didn’t have money for toys.
- My son telling a random stranger with a dog , “You know what my dog does? He humps me.”
- To a man with an eye patch, my four year old pointed and said: “Look mama, a pirate! Arrrrrrgh!!!”
- We were entering a petting zoo and my young son announces loudly, “I can’t wait to see a camel toe!”
- My three year old daughter, Tegan, was at the ENT. The Dr. told her that he was giving her nasal spray that mommy had to squirt up her nose every day. He told her it would help her sneezes and stop her snoring. Tegan leaned in and as serious as a judge says “Doctor, I guess you will need to give my Mommy some spray, too.”
- During the Lord’s prayer my daughter clearly tells everyone, “Thy will be DUMB”.
- “My mommy has a baby in her tummy and when it finds the hole, it’s going to come out!”
- In Victoria’s Secret, my then 4 year old said, “Mom, Dad said this is too much to spend on dental floss.”
- My 4-year-old daughter shouted out in a restaurant, “Look, mom! Those black people are eating lunch with those white people! And those black people are blacker than those black people!” Mortified, I whispered, “It is not nice to talk about people, especially so loud that they can hear you!” Then she whispered, “It’s just like Dr. King’s dream!” She had been learning about Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. in preschool.
- My son informed my mother in law that my husband hid from her when he saw her at Whole Foods.
- My son told his sitter that he is a Clownfish, Nana is a mermaid, and Mama is a beluga whale
Recognition…have it your way (post by Kirk Weisler)
Do you recognize people the way you would like to be recognized? Or do you recognize people the way they would like to be recognized?
Some people like to take the golden rule, say it doesn’t go far enough and spin it as the platinum rule by suggesting that treating people the way “we” would like toe treated doesn’t consider the other persons wants. I think the Golden Rule – Treating others as I would like to be treated… more than covers it. If, in fact, we take into account that others like to be treated in a way that helps them to feel known individually and cared about genuinely.
Do you treat others the way you would like to be treated or they way they would like to be treated?
It may be time to stop just doing a good job with recognition and start doing a great job in recognizing the members of our teams who do so much to help delight the clients, accomplish the mission and make more positive the culture.
Kirk out
Did I Read That Right (post from Kirk Weisler)
Friend Bill Lavelle shared these with me this morning. I think he was hinting at my lack of editing and poor diction…but I want to share it with you to help you finish Friday with some fun and smile right into your weekend.
Did I read that sign right?
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE
TAKEN
In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a secondhand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer’s field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
On a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR – THE BELL DOESN’T WORK)
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Really?
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers – Now that’s taking things a bit far!
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over – What a guy!
Miners Refuse to Work after Death Good-for-nothin’, lazy so-and-so’s!
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant – See if that works any better than a fair trial!
War Dims Hope for Peace (I can see where it might have that effect!)
If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile !
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide (They may be on to something!)
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges (you mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?)
Man Struck By Lightning:Faces Battery Charge -He probably IS the battery charge!
New Study of Obesity Looks for LargerTest Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft – That’s what he gets for eating those beans!
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks (Do they taste like chicken?)
Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half – Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors – Boy, are they tall!
And the winner is…. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
Enjoy your End Week
Kirk Out
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