The following is taken from Haul Urban’s book, “Positive Words, Powerful Results – Simply Ways to Honor, Affirm, and Celebrate Life.” I think this is gold and something that my wife Rebecca has mastered.
Inquire, Express Interest
“This is probably the simplest method for affirming other people, yet it’s the one most overlooked. It’s simple because all it involves is asking questions about another person – getting that person to tell you his or her story. It means asking questions that say “I want to know more about you. You’re important.” It’s overlooked because we’re too often waiting for the other person to ask us those same questions, to show interest in us. It’s called human nature. People like to know that they count, that someone else actually is interested in them.
Carnegie, in his classic book How to Win Friends and Influence People, gives us six rules that make for outstanding human relations skills:
Become genuinely interested in other people.
Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Talk in terms of other person’s interest.
Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
Note that two of Carnegie’s rules are nonverbal: smile and listen.”