When you don’t know what to say…
Your insecurities might kick in…causing you to think you should say something. I’ve been here before…filling the awkward void with words that occasionally make the void even more awkward. The problem, if there is one, is typically rooted in a lack of confidence. Confidence doesn’t come from ”knowing just the right thing to say”. Confidence comes from knowing that you don’t have know just the right thing or to believe that there is a right thing. Confidence comes from knowing you don’t have to say anything at all. In fact confidence even allows you to say….”I’m not sure what to say about that.”
If your words don’t improve upon the silence… then enjoy the silence.
A great blog post about “Overcoming the “I don’t know what to say syndrome” can be read by clicking here.
The post began with this quote that I really liked.
“There is no such thing as a worthless conversation, provided you know what to listen for. And questions are the breath of life for a conversation.” James Nathan Miller
It seems to remind us that great conversations are not built on a foundation of speaking…but of listening. As Stephen Covey so wisely and frequently taught…”Seeking first to Understand” is one of the greatest gifts we can bring to any relationship…and any conversation.
My son Jacob recently made a short youtube video that I think highlights this principle in a very clever way. In a moment of teenaged awkwardness… he blurts out just the right or wrong thing…? You decide.
Make it a great day…and say what you need to say…which may be nothing at all.
– kirk Out
Mzsunflower's Say What? 