Posts Tagged With: digital distractions

When Too Many Moderations Become Distractions (by Kirk Weisler)

This post hit home for me too but I can’t give up Facebook. (hehehehehe)

Kirk says “Today’s T4D is a response to last weeks “Ramblings From Brazil“ that I found myself reading and re-reading.  Finally I wrote to Gretchen McKinney who posted it and asked for her permission to share with each of you.  It is so wonderfully authentic and I hope that it resonates with you as it did with me.  (Not that you have to agree with it… just appreciate her courageous decision to do what she knew was right for her and her family…pictured below).”

Ok Kirk, you have no idea how much this resonated with me.  I am a mom of 4 ages 17, 10, 2 weeks away from being 4 and 19 months and as if it is not busy enough with 4 goobers then you the “everything else” and because of the “everything else” I feel I live a very distracted life.  I attempt to do everything with meaning and purpose but I often fail because of this distracted life of mine and I KNOW that I SHOULD be doing more because as parents we have A LOT to show and do with our kids.

I was told recently by a long time co-worker who is a LCSW that our 2 older kids are REALLY good kids (he likes the little ones too but obviously can’t gage them like the 2 older ones).  He told me he sees the good and bad everyday and wanted me to know that we are doing something right because he said they are true, genuine, good kids.  I cried…heck I bawled.    Because I often feel like a failure and he KNOWS that…so then I thought WOW, maybe we are doing good and right by them.  BUT then I immediately thought, I wonder if the 2 littles ones are going to be as good.  I think this because in today’s society the priorities are so different then they were even 5 years ago.  I have so many more distractions than I did even 5 years ago.  We depend on technology, social media, etc.  I had a cell phone that I had for 7 years and everyone made fun of me because it was almost as big as a bag phone…it still worked and I didn’t need a data package despite it being a “smartphone” so in January I caved and bought an iPhone.  I feel this was one of my worst mistakes this year…I have lived 37 years without data why do I need it now?  It adds in another distraction and these distractions continue to pile up…thus contributing to a busy life but not always a meaningful one.

So in wrapping up “my ramblings” we started about a month ago making some positive changes to live a less distracted life:  1)  I got rid of facebook…I realize everything is good in moderation however how many “moderations” can we fit in before they all become distractions.  2)  I turn off my cell phone between the hours of 10am and 2 pm so I only focus on my little ones.  3)  I do NOT check my phone with my family in tow.  4)  No technology on school nights for the kids.  NONE!  I thought these changes would me resistance however it has been INCREDIBLE!  We have always ate dinner together and have always had the best conversations…in my opinion our nights now are like 1 VERY long dinner conversation.  I hear “momma” so much more but man, is that music to my ears.

I am a mom that wants to enjoy these years and focus on the things that matter the most because I remember like it was yesterday that our 17 year old was our 18 month old.  Here is to a great holiday weekend…~gretchen mckinney

PS.  This is a great post.  It brought tears to my eyes.  http://www.handsfreemama.com/2012/05/07/how-to-miss-a-childhood/  ( I WENT AND READ THIS POST and LOVED IT AS WELL…thanks Gretchin ~ Kirk & Rebecca)

“Most of us will miss the real significance of what we might experience from this life, and what we might contribute to this life, not because we are bad people doing bad things, but because we have allowed ourselves to become distracted from doing the most important ones.”

We all know it can be hard work to stay focused on the most important things… but we also know staying focused on those things may be the most important work we will ever do.  ~ Kirk Weisler

Categories: kirk weisler, coffee sugar, exercise 3, yoga class, and walking in the garden. | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Amazing Power of Being Present (post written by Leo Babauta)

‘Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet.’ ~Thich Nhat Hahn

Post written by Leo Babauta.

How can you bring calm and peace to the middle of a stress-ful, chaotic day?

The answer is simple, though not always so easy to put into practice: learn to be present.

No matter how out-of-control your day is, no matter how stressful your job or life becomes, the act of being present can become an oasis. It can change your life, and it’s incredibly simple.

When I asked people what things prevent them from having a peaceful day, some of the responses:

  • Work, the internet, my own lizard brain.
  • Social media and other digital distractions.
  •  For me it’s too many things coming at me all at once. Whether it’s news, or decisions, or work to be done.
  • My four children.
  • Dishes, Laundry, Kids.
  • Needless interruptions.
  • Lack of control. I work in IT, and often “urgent” things will come up that need to be investigated/fixed right away (their definition, not necessarily mine).
  • My own monkey mind.

The amazing thing: all of these problems can be solved by one technique. Being Present.

How Being Present Solves Problems

When you look at all of the problems above, you can see if you look closely that the problems are entirely in the mind. Sure, there are external forces at work: an uncontrollable job, the stress of kids and chores and interruptions and digital distractions. But it’s how our mind handles those external forces that is the problem.

If you are completely present, the external forces are no longer a problem, because there is only you and that external force, in this moment, and not a million other things you need to worry about.

If your kid interrupts you, you can stress out because you have other things to worry about and now your kid is adding to your worries or interrupting your calm. Or you can be present, and there is then only you and the child. You can appreciate that child for who she is, and be grateful you have this moment with her.

If your job demands that you focus on an urgent task, you can stress out because you have a million other things to do and not enough time to do them. Or you can be present, and focus completely on that task, and now there is only that one task and you. When you’re done, you can move on to the next task.

Social media and other digital distractions don’t interrupt us if we close them and learn to pour ourselves completely into the present task. And if we need to do email, Twitter, or read blogs, we can set aside everything else and just be present with that one digital task.

Being present becomes, then, a way to handle any problem, any distraction, any stressor. It allows everything else to fade away, leaving only you and whatever you’re dealing with right now.

How to Practice Being Present

The method for being present is fairly simple, but it’s the practice that matters most.

Most people don’t learn to be present because they don’t practice, not because it’s so hard to do.

When you practice something regularly, you become good at it. It becomes more a mode of being rather than a task on your to-do or someday list.

Practice, practice, and being present will become natural.

Here’s how to do it: whatever you’re doing, right now, learn to focus completely on doing that one thing. Pay attention: to every aspect of what you’re doing, to your body, to the sensations, to your thoughts.

You will notice your thoughts, if you’re paying attention, jump to other things. That’s OK — you are not trying to force all other thoughts from your mind. But by becoming aware of that jumping around in your thoughts, you have found the tool for gently bringing yourself back to your present task. Just notice the jumping thoughts, and lovingly come back.

Do this once, then do it again. Don’t worry about how many times you must do it. Just do it now.

It can become tiring at first, if you’re not used to it. Don’t worry about that. Let yourself rest if you grow tired. Come back and practice again in a little while. It’s not meant to be exhausting — instead you should notice how your worries melt away and you enjoy your present task much more.

Be joyful in whatever you’re doing, grateful that you’re able to do that task, and fully appreciate every little movement and tactile sensation of the task. You’ll learn that anything can be an amazing experience, anything can be a miracle.

Practice throughout your day, every day. Little “mindfulness bells” are useful to remind you to come back to the present. Thich Nhat Hanh once recommended that stoplights be your mindfulness bell as you drive. You can find mindfulness bells everywhere: your child’s voice, your co-workers appearing before you, a regular event on your computer, the noise of traffic.

Meditation is a fantastic way to practice, only because it removes much of the complexity of the world and allows you to just learn to be aware of your mind, and to bring yourself back to the present moment. It’s not complicated: meditation can be done anywhere, anytime. A meditation teacher is useful if you can find one.

Practice, repeatedly, in small easy beautiful steps. Each step is a wonder in itself, and each practice helps you to find that calm in the middle of the traffic of your life.

‘Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis
on which the world earth revolves – slowly, evenly, without
rushing toward the future. Live the actual moment.
Only this moment is life.’ ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Categories: kirk weisler, coffee sugar, exercise 3, yoga class, and walking in the garden. | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

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