I heard her voice before I saw her face. “Michaela! Get over here!”

Again: “Michaela! NOW!”

It was just after 10 a.m. on an icy winter morning. TJ Maxx had just opened, and there were only a handful of shoppers there. I had braved the slick, slushy roads to drive to an outlet mall 40 min. away from home. By myself. For as long as I felt like it. Because I needed a break. I didn’t ask my husband if that was OK. I didn’t line up any activities or meals for the kids. I just took off. I was planning to be gone a LONG time. Because I needed a break.

“Michaela! Stop that! Get over here! MICHAELA!!”

The woman sounded angry. I saw the source of her anger streak past in a flowery dress and pink winter coat, braids bobbing. I guessed she was about 4. Her older brother, maybe 6 or 7, trailed after her, trying to get her to come back.

“Michaela! Come ON. I need to try this stuff on.”

I was a few doors down in the dressing room. Trying on things I really didn’t need. An itchy sweater, a trendy shirt I’d only wear once. It was impossible not to overhear the woman. She didn’t seem to care, anyway. “Get that out of your mouth! What is WRONG with you? That’s nasty! Put that down. Michaela, I swear to God…”

Then came the muffled sounds of a scuffle. A slap. A wail. Then, after a few minutes, the little girl was off again, shrieking and running around and misbehaving.

I began to feel sick to my stomach. I couldn’t concentrate on the clothes, couldn’t block out the woman’s angry shouts. But more than the yelling and the hitting, what really bothered me was… the realization that this woman was not that different from me.

It had been a long week. I was tired of the early mornings, the late nights, the kids’ constant fighting, the endless messes. No one listens, no one appreciates, everyone blames and complains and demands and expects. He hit me! I had it first! You never let me…! He always…! No fair!

I had lost my temper. Lots. I had screamed and yelled and stomped and threatened. You sit down this minute! Don’t you EVER do that again! What is WRONG with you?

Before I had kids myself, I would have thought this woman was a terrible mom. Someone who didn’t deserve to have kids. I would’ve thought talking to your children like that, never mind hitting them, was unconscionable, unforgivable. Now, I am much less judgmental. The other morning my 3yo threw a tantrum because he didn’t like the shirt I’d picked out for him. He pulled open his drawer and wrenched the whole thing out of the dresser onto my foot. The tantrum (over a SHIRT), the broken furniture, the physical pain of the heavy, sharp drawer falling on my bare foot…it took all my strength to walk out of the room before I did something I’d regret.

So I wasn’t feeling all that high and mighty compared to this woman at TJ Maxx. What if she was a single mom? What if she had no one else to watch her kids and didn’t have the money to hire a sitter? What if she needed something to wear to an important event or interview and needed her kids to just behave for one freaking hour so she could find an outfit, like that’s so much to ask after all I do for them?!

I wanted to go over to her and offer to read her kids a book in the children’s section until she was done shopping. I wanted to tell her kids, “It’s OK. Your mommy’s just frustrated and tired and taking it out on you. She still loves you.” But I didn’t. I didn’t do anything. I just thanked God that I knew myself well enough to take a break when I needed to, and that I could. Because every mom needs a break sometimes.