Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Courtney Carver of Be More with Less.

When I was 16, I wanted more. When I was 24, I wanted even more than that. So, I worked harder, earned more, spent more, to have more, only to owe more. I was exhausted at the end of the day and tired when I woke up most mornings. I ate on the fly, fell behind, ran late and could never catch up. Sound familiar?

I thought everything I was doing was for a better life. I thought what I was doing was normal and right. I had become so used to bills in the mailbox, and feeling rundown, that I didn’t know anything was wrong. So, how did I go from wanting more, more, more to craving less? I would love to tell you that I woke up one morning a changed person, but that’s not the way it went down. Even though I had begun to make small changes, I needed a wake up call … and it had to be really loud.

On July, 7th 2006 I was diagnosed with relapsing remitting Multiple Sclerosis. That was my wake up call, and to say it was loud is an understatement. The diagnosis was nothing short of traumatic. I didn’t have enough information to take action. I only knew enough to be really scared. I had so many questions. Could I still ski with my family? Would I be able to help my daughter with homework? Would I even be walking in a year?

No one had the answers to those overwhelming questions, so I had to focus on what was most important: my health and my family. Nothing else mattered. If I had moved forward with these big questions and fearful thinking, my daughter and husband would have been so worried. I realized that if I started thinking differently, so would they. My questions went from, “What is this disease going to do to my body and mind?” to “How am I going to reverse MS?”

The answer to my question was change. Small shifts and big change were necessary to become the best possible version of myself. When I started making changes in my life, I didn’t know that they would lead to minimalism, but they did. In fact, while the changes I made were fighting MS, they were also redefining my whole life. The changes I made are not all essential in the life of a minimalist, but they are all essential to my minimalist lifestyle.

What I did to change my life:

I became a vegetarian. Research shows that MS patients, and people dealing with other autoimmune conditions that eat fewer saturated fats and “inflammatory foods” maintain better health. (I would challenge that this goes for most everyone.) Giving up meat was one of the best ways I could really “do something” about my new diagnosis. I stopped eating meat to achieve better health.

When I started my vegetarian journey, I started reading. I read about raising animals for meat. I read about factory farming. I learned about the impact of our actions on our bodies, animals and the earth. By really opening my eyes and heart to how meat was put on my plate, I lost my appetite for it. I was motivated by health and changed with compassion.

I fell in love with yoga. Practicing Yoga gives me strength, flexibility, focus, peace of mind and freedom from fear. I want to keep my body strong, and my mind calm and focused so I can effectively fight this disease and take care of my family. While I am in search of less, I want to be more sensitive and loving, more adaptive and more resilient. Yoga gives me that, too.

I got rid of my stuff. While I always felt compelled to put something on an empty surface, I have come to love an empty space. It takes living without it to realize how clutter affects your life and takes away from your freedom and creativity. I am reminded of that every time I walk into my kitchen and instead of seeing a cluttered counter, I see sunlight streaming in from the kitchen window. I am still letting go of my stuff and feel lighter everyday.

I decided to live without debt. You may not think that your bank account can affect your health, but considering money can cause great stress, and stress can make you sick, it only makes sense that poor money management equals poor health. My husband and I made the decision to be debt free, and paid off our last debt this summer except for our house. What will we do with our money now that we don’t have any monthly payments? Whatever we want.

I hung up the phone. I do not use my phone when I’m driving anymore. I don’t text at red lights or make calls on the back roads. I can remember too many times where I would arrive at a destination and not remember how I got there because I was so involved in a phone call. Admitting that I had essentially been risking my life and the lives of other drivers wasn’t easy, but it was necessary to make the change and the commitment to be phone free in the car.

Another benefit is that now, when I pick my daughter up from school, she has my full attention. She doesn’t have to compete with business or other phone fueled distractions. I am there for her.

I redefined better. As I mentioned before, all of my bad habits came from wanting something better, something more. In the changes I’ve made, I have redefined what better means to me and my family. The health and happiness of my marriage and family comes before everything else. My husband and I have decided that “more” isn’t the answer for us.

Now at 41, forever changed, and virtually symptom free, I am becoming me. I know I haven’t figured it all out but am content. I don’t make as much as I used to. I didn’t take a big vacation this year or make any big purchases, but there is no doubt that I am happier. Less speaks to me. Less lets me love more deeply and less lets me really be me.

My wake up calls have become more subtle, but because I have the time and space to pay attention, I hear them loud and clear. When I first started to practice doing less and being more, I discovered Zen Habits. It was another wake up call, but it sounded like a whisper, “You can do this. You can change.” It is not a coincidence that Leo Babauta’s story of change changed me. I was ready to listen, ready to change.

The biggest lesson I’ve learned is that less is enough. Of course, I am still learning, still changing and still a work in progress, but now it is my turn to inspire change with my story.

Read more from Courtney at her blog, Be More with Less, or follow her on twitter.

It’s the time of year when everyone is in a crazy rush: to shop to decorate to get ingredients to go to parties to travel to get last-minute work done to go to the kids’ Christmas pageants to go caroling to get those to-dos done.

There is a single answer to just about all your problems — Christmas or otherwise:

Simplify

It’s the answer to your time-management problems: instead of trying to figure out how to manage your schedule try simplifying it. Do less. Say no to projects and meetings. Cut back on commitments. Have less on your schedule and you’ll eliminate the problem of trying to manage it all. You’ll also have less stress and love life more.

It’s the answer to your financial problems: instead of trying to manage all your bills and debts try simplifying. Spend less. Shop less. Do without for a bit. Cut back on your bills. Have fewer credit accounts. Eliminate debt and have less stress.

It’s also the answer to your storage problems: instead of trying to find more storage for all your stuff try simplifying. Reduce clutter. Having less stuff requires less storage (even a smaller home) and is less stressful. You’ll also save lots of money in storage and maintenance.

Want to lose weight? Simplify your diet. Want to change a habit? Simplify the process: do just one habit at a time.

Having trouble getting things done? Eliminate distractions and find focus.

Want to get out of the craziness of Christmas shopping? Do less of it.

Simplicity isn’t always easy. It requires the courage to be different. To say no. To make difficult decisions. To question the way we’ve always done things.

But the result is lovely: simplicity means more space. More quiet and peace. More focus and less craziness. Less stress. A happier healthier life. That’s worth the effort.

“Charity begins at home but should not end there.”

― Thomas Fuller

He that can take rest is greater than he that can take cities. – Benjamin Franklin

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Joshua Becker of Becoming Minimalist.

Ask any physician and they will tell you that rest is essential for physical health. When the body is deprived of sleep, it is unable to rebuild and recharge itself adequately. Your body requires rest.

Ask any athlete and they will tell you that rest is essential for healthy physical training. Rest is needed for physical muscles to repair themselves and prevent injury. This is true whether you run marathons, pitch baseballs, or climb rocks. Your muscles require rest.

Ask many of yesterday’s philosophers and they will tell you that rest is essential for the mind. Leonardo da Vinci said, “Every now and then go away, have a little relaxation, for when you come back to your work your judgment will be surer.” And Ovid, the Roman poet, said, “Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.” Your mind requires rest.

Ask most religious leaders and they will tell you that rest is essential for the soul. Buddhism, Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Baha’i, and Wiccan (among others) teach the importance of setting aside a period of time for rest. Your soul requires rest.

Ask many corporate leaders and they will tell you that rest is essential for productivity. Forbes magazine recently wrote, “You can only work so hard and do so much in a day. Everybody needs to rest and recharge.” Your productivity requires rest.

Physicians, athletes, philosophers, poets, religious leaders, and corporate leaders all tell us the same thing: take time to rest. It is absolutely essential for a balanced, healthy life.

Yet, when you ask most people in today’s frenzied culture if they consistetly set aside time for rest, they will tell you that they are just too busy to rest. Even fewer would say that they set aside any concentrated time (12-24 hours) for rest. There are just too many things to get done, too many demands, too many responsibilities, too many bills, and too much urgency. Nobody can afford to waste time resting in today’s results-oriented culture.

Unfortunately, this hectic pace is causing damage to our quality of life. We are destroying every sense of our being (body, mind, and soul). There is a reason we run faster and work harder, but only fall farther behind. Our lives have become too full and too out of balance. Somewhere along the way, we lost the essential practice of concentrated rest. We would be wise to reclaim the ancient, lost practice of resting one day each week.

To get back into balance, just consider the countless benefits of concentrated rest for your body, mind, and soul:

§  Healthier body – We each get one life and one body to live it in. Therefore, we eat healthy, we exercise, and we watch our bad habits. But then we allow our schedules to fill up from morning to evening. Rest is as essential to our physical health as the water we drink and the air we breathe.

§  Less stress – Stress is basically the perception that the situations we are facing are greater than the resources we have to deal with them – resources such as time, energy, ability, and help from others. We have two choices, either reduce the demands or increase our resources. Concentrated rest confronts stress in both ways. First, it reduces the demands of the situation. We have no demands on us as long as we have the ability to mentally let go of unfinished tasks. Secondly, rest reduces stress by increasing our resources, particularly energy.

§  Deeper relationships – A day set aside each week for rest allows relationships with people to deepen and be strengthened. When we aren’t rushing off to work or soccer practice, we are able to enjoy each other’s company and a healthy conversation. And long talks prove to be far more effective in building community than short ones on the ride to the mall.

§  Opportunity for reflection – Sometimes it is hard to see the forest through the trees. It is even more difficult to see the forest when we are running through the trees. Concentrated rest allows us to take a step back, to evaluate our lives, to identify our values, and determine if our life is being lived for them.

§  Balance – Taking one day of your week and dedicating it to rest will force you to have an identity outside of your occupation. It will foster relationships outside of your fellow employees. It will foster activities and hobbies outside our work. It will give you life and identity outside of your Monday-Friday occupation. Rather than defining your life by what you do, you can begin to define it by who you are.

§  Increased production – Just like resting physical muscles allows them opportunity to rejuvenate which leads to greater physical success, providing our minds with rest provides it opportunity to refocus and rejuvenate. More work is not better work. Smarter work is better work.

§  Reserve for life’s emergencies – Crisis hits everyone. Nobody who is alive is immune from the trials of life. By starting the discipline today of concentrated rest, you will build up reserves for when the unexpected emergencies of life strike… and rest is no longer an option.

Properly developing a discipline of concentrated rest requires both inward and outward changes. Consider these steps to reclaiming the lost practice of weekly rest in your life:

1. Find contentment in your current life. – Much of the reason we are unable to find adequate rest is because we are under the constant impression that our lives can and should be better than they are today. This constant drive to improve our standing in life through the acquisition of money, power, or skills robs us of contentment and joy. Ultimately, rest is an extension of our contentment and security. Without them, simplicity and rest is difficult, if not impossible. Stop focusing on what you don’t have and start enjoying the things that you do.

2. Plan your rest. Rest will come only from intentional planning and planning rest will come only if it is truly desired. Schedule it on your calendar. Learn to say no to any tasks that attempt to take precedent. Plan out your day of rest by choosing creative activities that are refreshing and encourage relationships. Understand that true rest is different than just not working. As the Cat in the Hat wisely said, “It is fun to have fun but you have to know how.” Avoid housework. Plan meals in advance to help alleviate cooking responsibilities. And by all means, turn off your television, e-mail, and blackberry.

3. Take responsibility for your life. You are not a victim of your time demands. You are the creator and acceptor of them. Refuse to complain or make excuses and start changing your habits. Remember, you are only as busy as you choose to be. Leave “if only” excuses to the kids. If needed, alert your employer about your desire for rest and tell them you will be unavailable on that particular day.

4. Embrace simplicity. Embrace a lifestyle that focuses on your values, not your possessions. It is difficult to find rest when the housework is never finished, the yard needs to be mowed, or the garage needs to be organized.

5. Include your family. It is much easier to practice the discipline of concentrated rest if your family is practicing it too. The fact that this gets more difficult as your kids get older should motivate you to start as soon as possible.

6. Live within your income. A debtor is a slave to his creditor. It is difficult to find rest for your mind when you are deep in debt. The constant distress of your responsibility to another may preclude you from truly enjoying a day off. It is possible; it’s just more difficult. Don’t overspend your income, live within it.

7. Realize the shallow nature of a results-oriented culture. If you live in a results-oriented culture where productivity alone is championed on every corner, rest is counter-cultural. And thus, the saying goes, “If you rest, you rust.” Rest may even be seen as a sign of weakness by others. Unfortunately, that view of humanity’s role in this world is shallow. It is true that many of the benefits from concentrated rest are not tangible; but then again, only a fool believes that all good things can be counted.

Rabbi Elijah of Vilna once said, “What we create becomes meaningful to us only once we stop creating it and start to think about why we did so.” The implication is clear. We could live lives that produce countless widgets, but we won’t start living until we stop producing and start enjoying. Capture again the lost practice of resting one day each week and start truly living.

Read more from Joshua at his blog, Becoming Minimalist, subscribe to his feed, or check out his new ebook, Simplify.

sin·cere/sinˈsi(ə)r/Adjective

1. Free from pretense or deceit; proceeding from genuine feelings. 2. (of a person) Saying what they genuinely feel or believe; not dishonest or hypocritical

The first virtue of all really great men is that they are sincere.  They eradicate hypocrisy from their hearts. — Anatole France

A life without purpose is a languid, drifting thing; Every day we ought to review our purpose, saying to ourselves: This day let me make a sound beginning, for what we have hitherto done is naught!  — Thomas A. Kempis

There is something so refreshing and attractive about genuine people.   The same can be said about those who live a positive and purposeful life.  So here’s to a more sincere and purposeful day, week, and life!  Let us continue the creation of such for ourselves and for all those we are connected too.

Kirk out

The zest for life is there for all. We must decide as individuals how much we want the lather it up. The decision is ours ……

Thank you Gigi!!

Kirk pulled this bit off of Annette Lavigne’s very interesting blog…. “Phoenix Fortitude“

“Nothing is invented and perfected at the same time.”  ~John Ray, English naturalist, sometimes referred to as the father of English natural history born November 19, 1627.

Lots of things are like that – ideas, for example.  You start thinking about your idea and sharing your idea and ideas seem to grow and get better.  Relationships are that way too.   If you work on the them and cultivate them, over time, they change into something even more wonderful than the beginning. Annette Lavigne

Kirk Out

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.’ ~Victor Frankl

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Gail Brenner, Ph.D. of A Flourishing Life.

Are you ready to be a warrior for inner peace? Doing less and organizing more simplifies for sure. But until you deal with the ways you get knotted up inside, your life will be complicated, and the glory of inner peace will elude you.

Inner peace is revealed when the inner war ends. We stop looking outside ourselves for solutions to our problems and, instead, turn our attention inward to make peace with our own experience. This simple movement of attention is revolutionary. It heals, calms, and clarifies like nothing else.

From Darkness to Light

We are experts at denying our experience. Take any habit that doesn’t serve you – compulsively shopping or staying busy, self-judgment, jealousy. If you trace it back to its root, you will find an expectation or feeling you have been avoiding.

These hidden aspects of ourselves thrive when we ignore them, leaving fear, desire, and lack to unconsciously drive our behavior. Once they are illuminated by becoming aware, we see how they operate, and we can make a different choice. No more conflict. No more confusion. Finally, peace.

Unearthing our inner experiences is like treasure hunting. Each one is a breadcrumb leading us out of the wilderness of discontent and into the light of a simple, conscious, lovely way of being. Suffering ends and freedom begins, leaving us available to happiness, wonder, enjoyment, and creativity.

The How-To

Exploring your triggers takes courage and openness. Prepare yourself for the journey by being willing:

• § To be honest
• § To feel pain but not wallow in it
• § To let go of the old and change
• § To contemplate a new kind of inner life not beset by distress and disturbance
• § To be happy and peaceful

Now, begin to explore. Showing up as a loving presence to yourself is one of the most sane and compassionate things you could ever do.

1. When you are triggered, rather than playing it out in the usual way, stop and breathe.
2. Simply notice the thought patterns, feelings, and bodily sensations that are present. Don’t freak out – just be curious. What are you thinking? What is the energy behind the thoughts? What feelings and physical sensations are present? These questions allow you to become familiar with how your habits work so they no longer control you.
3. Find the most loving place inside you – the soft spot that melts when you encounter puppies, babies, or those most dear to you. Pour this love into the tension and painful feelings. This is the healing balm that untangles the knot.
4. Rinse and repeat every time you are struggling.
5. Move forward in a way that supports your clarity, happiness, and well being.

Example #1: Holding a Grudge

Say that you have been carrying around a grudge for a decade or two. To keep this grudge alive, you must be telling yourself a story about what should and shouldn’t have happened. You feel churned up inside, and your reaction is activated every time you face a person or situation that triggers the memories. This is no way to live.

Your thoughts about what happened are keeping you stuck. Release yourself by letting go of the story and feeling right into the pain. Break it down into its elements – thoughts and physical sensations. This is the experience that’s been plaguing you all along. Love those tender feelings, then go forth with fresh eyes.

This process doesn’t condone what happened, and it has nothing to do with the other person. It’s a choice you make for your peace and happiness.

Example #2: Relationship Problems

How many of us blame the other person for struggles in our relationships? We get caught in the trap of “if only” – if only the other would change, then I will feel more peaceful. This mindset will never solve the problem because you are making your peace dependent on something you can’t control – what other people say and do.

If your relationships bring you stress, make peace with your own reactions. Turn your attention inward to lovingly meet the frustration, disappointment, or fear that is triggered in you. Even though you may not like what you realize, when you accept things as they are, you are at peace. And seeing your role in the problem unlocks the possibility of experimenting with new and compassionate solutions.

Example #3: Habits and Addictions

Maybe you engage in a compulsive pattern that involves your actions, thoughts, or feelings. All challenging habits mask an unexplored emotion, usually fear or sadness.

Do you want to bring ease to your inner world? Stop, breathe, and move your kind attention into the feeling you’ve been avoiding. Love it every time it arises. Then follow Leo’s advice on changing habits, and you are well on your way to freeing yourself.

Can you see the value of becoming aware? Any inner knot can be untangled when you pay attention to it. Start with whatever is troubling you right now, and know that every moment of awareness simplifies.

The process of becoming aware is not a panacea that instantly cures all your ills. But you will notice some changes – space, ease, and, a depth of peace you never knew was possible.

Gail Brenner, Ph.D. is a psychologist who blogs at A Flourishing Life. Stay in touch by subscribing to her feed.

Sharing your thoughts Debra.  Shouts out to you and rest in peace Elizabeth Edwards!

I have thought a lot about Elizabeth Edwards these past 24 hours-the terrible emotional pain she had to endure. But what I was really thinking about is, not only is diet and exercise important to our health, but so is our emotional and mental health. You can exercise til you drop and eat right all day long but if you are plagued with stress and worry and drama, it can wreck serious havoc on your body.

Leave toxic people alone – just get them OUT of your life. Really take seriously your associations at work, school, play and home. Just because they are related to you does NOT mean you have to embrace their
drama. Take care of yourselves.

“Guard well your spare moments. They are like uncut diamonds. Discard them and their value will never be known. Improve them and they will become the brightest gems in a useful life”  -Ralph Waldo Emerson