Peace To You!!
My old (but still young) Special Forces Commander, Don Spradling, sent me this last night. I love it… it’s a weeks worth of T4D wisdom so I hope you’ll take some time to consider it, share it, learn it, and perhaps even live a bit of it too. I’ll share a short bit about Don’s memorability at the end. (hint that’s him in the picture above)
In order to succeed, almost everyone-whether business owner or employee-must be memorable.
While you don’t have to be The Most Interesting Man in the World, being known is one of the main goals of marketing, advertising, and personal branding.
Out of sight is out of mind, and out of mind is out of business. But if your only goal is to be known for professional reasons, you’re missing out. People who are memorable for the right reasons also live a richer, fuller, and more satisfying life. Win-win!
So forget the flashy business cards and personal value propositions and idiosyncratic clothing choices. Here’s how to be more memorable-and have a lot more fun.
1. Don’t see. Do.
Can you speak intelligently about how clothing provides a window into the inner lives of Mad Men characters? Do you find yourself arguing about how the degree of depth lost in the Game of Thrones TV series as compared to the books?
Anyone can share opinions about movies or TV or even (I’ll grudgingly admit) books. That’s why opinions are quickly forgotten. What you say isn’t interesting; what you do is interesting.
Spend your life doing instead of watching. Cool things will happen. Cool things are a lot more interesting and a lot more memorable.
That’s especially true when you…
2. Do something unusual.
Draw a circle and put all your “stuff” in it. Your circle will look a lot like everyone else’s: Everyone works, everyone has a family, everyone has homes and cars and clothes….
We like to think we’re unique, but roughly speaking we’re all the same, and similar isn’t memorable.
So occasionally do something different. Backpack to the next town just to see how many people stop to offer you a ride. (Don’t take them up on it, though. Unless you appear to be in distress, the people who want to give you a ride are the last people you want to ride with.) Try to hike/scramble to the top of a nearby mountain no one climbs. (Trust me; take water.) Compete with your daughter to see who can swim the most laps in three hours. (If you live in my house you’ll lose. Badly.)
Or work from a coffee shop one day just to see what you learn about other people… and about yourself. Whatever you do, the less productive and sensible it is, the better. Your goal isn’t to accomplish something worthwhile; the goal is to collect experiences.
Experiences, especially unusual experiences, make your life a lot richer and way more interesting. You can even…
3. Embark on a worthless mission.
You’re incredibly focused, consistently on point, and relentlessly efficient. You’re also really, really boring.
Remember when you were young and followed stupid ideas to their illogical conclusions? Road trips, failing the cinnamon challenge, trying to eat six saltines crackers in one minute without water… you dined out on those stories for years.
Going on “missions,” however pointless and inconvenient, was fun. In fact the more pointless the more fun you had, because missions are about the ride, not the destination.
So do something, just once, that adults no longer do. Drive eight hours to see a band. Buy your seafood at the dock. Or do something no one else thinks of doing. Ride along with a policeman on a Friday night (it’s the king of all eye-opening experiences.)
Pick something it doesn’t make sense to do a certain way and do it that way. You’ll remember it forever-and so will other people.
4. Embrace a cause.
People care about-and remember-people who care. When you stand for something you stand apart.
But…
5. Let other people spread the word.
People who brag are not remembered for what they’ve done; they’re remembered for the fact they brag.
Do good things and other people will find out. The less you say, the more people remember.
6. Get over yourself.
Most of the time your professional life is like a hamster wheel of resume or C.V. padding: You avoid all possibility of failure while maximizing the odds of success in order to ensure your achievement graph climbs up and up and up.
Inevitably, that approach starts to extend to your personal life too.
So you run… but you won’t enter a race because you don’t want to finish at the back of the pack. You sing… but you won’t share a mic in a friend’s band because you’re no Adele. You’ll sponsor the employee softball team but you won’t play because you’re not very good.
Personally and professionally, you feel compelled to maintain your all-knowing, all-achieving, all-conquering image. And you’re not a person. You’re a resume.
Stop trying to seem perfect. Accept your faults. Make mistakes. Hang yourself out there. Try and fail. Then be gracious when you fail.
When you do, people will definitely remember you because people who are willing to fail are rare… and because people who display grace and humility, especially in the face of defeat, are incredibly rare.
— I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did — Rebecca and were discussing it even as I was editing it to send out this morning. I almost want to go out and apply for a job now…just so I can present them with a very different resume…one that lists a few glorious failures. Wouldn’t that be unique?! I bet it would help land me the job.
Anyway… Don Spradling pictured above in our MIB (Motivators In Black) photo shoot. Dressing up for a farce photo shoot holding Nerf guns isn’t something you imagine your special forces commander doing…but when I asked him if he would consider it … his reply was an instantaneous and enthusiastic… “You bet ranger!” Don is a most remarkable listener, a certified river guide, a champion tennis player, a failure, a marathoner, does 100 mile mountain runs, an executive coach, 7 Habits trainer, Security Consultant, devoted husband, father, grandfather and more and more and more. And as long as the list is…and it’s very long. With the exception of the grandfather piece and the failure piece… every bit of the DO and have DONE on his list.. I found out from others or from observation. Don is a DOER!
With regard to the failure piece… Don has shared many of his failure stories with me and with others. Not that he brags about them…just that he willing shares his learnings from them…so that others may gather wisdom and build on them in their own journey of becoming.
Kirk out (www.kirkweisler.com)
This post hit home for me too but I can’t give up Facebook. (hehehehehe)
Kirk says “Today’s T4D is a response to last weeks “Ramblings From Brazil“ that I found myself reading and re-reading. Finally I wrote to Gretchen McKinney who posted it and asked for her permission to share with each of you. It is so wonderfully authentic and I hope that it resonates with you as it did with me. (Not that you have to agree with it… just appreciate her courageous decision to do what she knew was right for her and her family…pictured below).”
Ok Kirk, you have no idea how much this resonated with me. I am a mom of 4 ages 17, 10, 2 weeks away from being 4 and 19 months and as if it is not busy enough with 4 goobers then you the “everything else” and because of the “everything else” I feel I live a very distracted life. I attempt to do everything with meaning and purpose but I often fail because of this distracted life of mine and I KNOW that I SHOULD be doing more because as parents we have A LOT to show and do with our kids.
I was told recently by a long time co-worker who is a LCSW that our 2 older kids are REALLY good kids (he likes the little ones too but obviously can’t gage them like the 2 older ones). He told me he sees the good and bad everyday and wanted me to know that we are doing something right because he said they are true, genuine, good kids. I cried…heck I bawled. Because I often feel like a failure and he KNOWS that…so then I thought WOW, maybe we are doing good and right by them. BUT then I immediately thought, I wonder if the 2 littles ones are going to be as good. I think this because in today’s society the priorities are so different then they were even 5 years ago. I have so many more distractions than I did even 5 years ago. We depend on technology, social media, etc. I had a cell phone that I had for 7 years and everyone made fun of me because it was almost as big as a bag phone…it still worked and I didn’t need a data package despite it being a “smartphone” so in January I caved and bought an iPhone. I feel this was one of my worst mistakes this year…I have lived 37 years without data why do I need it now? It adds in another distraction and these distractions continue to pile up…thus contributing to a busy life but not always a meaningful one.
So in wrapping up “my ramblings” we started about a month ago making some positive changes to live a less distracted life: 1) I got rid of facebook…I realize everything is good in moderation however how many “moderations” can we fit in before they all become distractions. 2) I turn off my cell phone between the hours of 10am and 2 pm so I only focus on my little ones. 3) I do NOT check my phone with my family in tow. 4) No technology on school nights for the kids. NONE! I thought these changes would me resistance however it has been INCREDIBLE! We have always ate dinner together and have always had the best conversations…in my opinion our nights now are like 1 VERY long dinner conversation. I hear “momma” so much more but man, is that music to my ears.
I am a mom that wants to enjoy these years and focus on the things that matter the most because I remember like it was yesterday that our 17 year old was our 18 month old. Here is to a great holiday weekend…~gretchen mckinney
PS. This is a great post. It brought tears to my eyes. http://www.handsfreemama.com/2012/05/07/how-to-miss-a-childhood/ ( I WENT AND READ THIS POST and LOVED IT AS WELL…thanks Gretchin ~ Kirk & Rebecca)
“Most of us will miss the real significance of what we might experience from this life, and what we might contribute to this life, not because we are bad people doing bad things, but because we have allowed ourselves to become distracted from doing the most important ones.”
We all know it can be hard work to stay focused on the most important things… but we also know staying focused on those things may be the most important work we will ever do. ~ Kirk Weisler
“When you give yourself to someone who doesn’t respect you, you surrender pieces of your soul that you’ll never get back. There comes a point when you have to let go and stop chasing some people. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll find a way to put you there. Sometimes you just need to let go and accept the fact that they don’t care for you the way you care for them. Let them leave your life quietly. Letting go is often times easier than holding on. We think it’s too hard to let go, until we actually do. Then we ask ourselves, “Why didn’t I do this sooner?”
~ Marc and Angel Hack Life – Practical Tips for Productive Living

A nice quote to support Kirk Weisler yesterday’s Thought for the Day about how “Breakdowns can lead to Breakthroughs” Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them; but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight. – Helen Keller (1880-1968) American Writer
Make it a great and meaningful day! You are the best person for this job!
Breakdowns lead to breakthroughs authored by Kimberly Giles..
Question:
I’ve been going through a lot and I’m afraid I’m headed for a breakdown. I’ve been trying so hard to keep it together, but I’m a mess. I’m so worn down, I cry almost every day. Any advice for me?
Answer:
A breakdown may be just what you need.
A breakdown is defined as the loss of ability to function. A breakdown is life’s way of saying that what you’re doing isn’t working and you need to make some changes. It is a sign that some of the things you thought were true may not be. A breakdown is your chance to begin again, question your assumptions, learn some new things and live your life in a different way.
Sometimes a breakdown is necessary to get your attention. You may hold onto your bad habits and poor relationship skills forever, thinking that if you keep doing these things long enough, they will eventually work. It often takes a breakdown before you are forced to change your ways.
This is not a fun place to be, though, and it’s okay to shed some tears. You may need what behavior therapists call a “pre-learning temper tantrum.” So, take a minute and kick and scream with frustration about being here if you need to. Afterward, put on your big kid pants and commit to the work of changing yourself.
Changing you will be the key to changing your life, and it’s not going to be an easy or painless process. There will be many more moments of sadness or discouragement along the way, but understand that some pain is not necessarily a bad thing.
Pain is just your subconscious mind trying to get your attention; you wouldn’t be as motivated to change yourself if it didn’t hurt a little.
It sounds to me like you’re ready for a breakthrough. A breakthrough is defined as the act, result or place of surpassing an obstruction, and/or discovering something new.
Are you ready to learn something new and change yourself? Here are some ideas to get you started in that process:
1. Make sure you see yourself accurately.
Do you know who you are? Do you know that your value is infinite and absolute because you are a one-of-a-kind? Do you know that nothing you do or don’t do changes your value, because life is a classroom, not a testing center? Can you trust that you are right on track in your personal process of growing and learning? Do you realize you are bulletproof and nothing anyone else says or does can diminish you?
If not, get some expert help from a counselor or coach who can help you internalize these truths and improve your self-esteem. You might also read some self-help books or talk to other people who have turned breakdowns into breakthroughs and find out what they learned. Seeing yourself accurately is an important first step.
2. Make sure you see other people accurately.
If life is a classroom, then the people in your life are there for a specific reason: to help you become a better person. In order to teach you things, they are going to push your buttons, tick you off and let you see your faults and insecurities. This is what they are supposed to do – get used to it.
The question is, what are you supposed to learn from having this person in your life? What is dealing with them showing you about yourself?
Can you see that the people in your life are scared, struggling human beings, just like you? Can you see that their bad behavior is not about you, but about their own fears about themselves?
Could you choose to see their bad behavior as a request for love? That is truly what it is. Could you choose to take the high road and be more loving, not because they deserve it, but because it’s the type of person you want to be?
3. Make sure you see your situation accurately.
If life is a classroom, then every situation is a lesson. If this situation is a lesson, then you are meant to find the solution. If you keep at it, you will find the answer.
You may need some help, though. Talk to friends, family members, or a counselor or coach about what’s happening, and ask them to help you see what you might be missing. Stay open and don’t be afraid of accepting your mistakes or learning new things.
There are so many life, relationship and communication skills out there which you haven’t discovered yet. There is an infinite supply of knowledge about happy, successful living. This information could better your life and take away some of your pain.
I recommend you listen to the universe and seek out some new life skills.
You can do this.
This feeling of discouragement and hopelessness won’t last. Just don’t give up.
Thanks Kim… now I’m excited for my next big breakdown! Well maybe… ![]()
Kirk Out
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