Keep Shining!!
Good friends are awesome, but toxic friends can make your life miserable.
In fact, an unhealthy friendship can be just as harmful as a bad romantic relationship.
Toxic friends can drag you down, undermine your self-esteem, and drain the joy from your life.
So, how do you know when it’s time to think about cutting someone out of your life?
Here are six types of toxic friend that won’t do your emotional health any favors:
1. The flaky friend:
Dropping out of plans, showing up late, and generally being unreliable are not cute quirks or character traits.
A flaky friend doesn’t respect your time, which suggests they don’t respect you.
They might even ditch your plans at the last minute for something or someone they think will be more exciting.
This kind of behavior hardly makes you feel valued, and it will decimate your self-esteem over time.
If someone has developed the habit of flaking on you, tell them that their behavior makes you feel as though they do not value your friendship.
You’ll soon find out how important you are to them.
2. The reckless friend:
Some people have a habit of engaging in wild or even dangerous behaviors on a regular basis and dragging their friends down in the process.
Maybe your friend drinks to excess every week, takes drugs regularly, has a lot of unprotected sex, or goes on mad spending sprees that leave them in debt – and wants you to join in.
This kind of behavior can be hard to watch, and you may also find it difficult to avoid bowing to peer pressure.
There’s nothing wrong with having fun, but emotionally stable, responsible adults usually make better friends than people who never moved past the teenage rebellion phase.
3. The energy vampire:
Do you have a friend who always leaves you feeling pessimistic, down, or completely drained?
If so, you may have an energy vampire on your hands.
These people love to talk about their problems.
They focus on everything that’s wrong in the world.
They are relentlessly cynical.
Energy vampires aren’t always aware of their own behaviors.
If one of their friends points out that they are a negative person, they might respond with genuine surprise.
It is possible for an energy vampire to learn new habits.
If you consider them a close friend, a frank conversation might help resolve the problem.
4. The attention-seeker:
Drama queens can be entertaining in small doses, but they quickly become tiring.
Attention-seekers will inflate even the smallest problems into a major crisis, start rumors, and post dramatic statuses on social media just to make others notice them.
Their behavior is often childish and embarrassing.
They often show reckless behaviors as well, which makes for an exhausting double-whammy.
5. The competitor:
A little competition is healthy, but some people take it to extremes.
A competitive friend will always want to have the best-paying job, the best-looking partner, the best grades, or even the most accomplished children.
Whenever you talk about yourself, they will jump in and start to boast about their latest achievements.
They can’t offer you a meaningful friendship because they will only see you as a potential rival.
6. The friend who doesn’t make the effort:
There’s no point in being friends with someone if it’s always up to you to set plans, keep a conversation going, and remind them three times that your birthday is coming up next month.
No friendship is perfectly balanced, but you should never be doing all the work.
A real friend will actually want to see you, and take steps to make it happen.
If you stop texting someone and they don’t seem to notice, it’s safe to say that it’s a one-sided relationship.
In some cases, just spending less time with a toxic friend will fix the situation.
If they have a lot of redeeming features, hang out with them occasionally and spend more time with people who make you feel good.
You’ll find that when you make friends with healthier people, toxic people will seem less attractive than ever.
If a friend is truly toxic, it’s best to remove them from your life completely.
Breaking up with a friend, especially if you have known them for a long time, can be upsetting.
You might need to give yourself time to mourn the friendship.
That’s totally normal.
The good news is that there are lots of emotionally stable, fun people who would love to be your friend. Get out there and find them!
TEAMWORK :)
The suicide note written by a 15-year old girl – Lessons for all family
zambianobserver.com Dec 10, 2019 5:03 AM
“Dear mum,
It’s with a heavy heart that I write you this note, knowing the amount of pain it is going to cause you.
Mum, I want you to know that I love you dearly and will ever love you. If I am given the opportunity to live again I will still choose you as my mum and our family will still be my place of birth.
But unfortunately, I know that there is not going to be any such opportunity.
Mum, I didn’t want to do this, but I was compelled by circumstances beyond my control to take the plunge.
I tried my best to pull through, but my best was not good enough. I battled alone for about thirteen months now until my strength failed me.
You and dad could not decipher what I was going through and maybe I should not blame you for that.
My one and only brother came very close to understanding what I was passing through but it was too much for his young mind to comprehend.
Mum, I know that you and dad loved me and did everything you could to prove that to me but I was not feeling loved.
You provided for me more than I even wanted, took me to places that most of my mates have not even heard of, yet despite all these my heart was longing for love.
I needed someone who would love me for who I was. I needed someone who could reach to the depth of my soul and feel the vacuum there.
The material provisions you spoiled me with could not do that. And I was alone all the while, despite the fact that we laughed together and had gist as a family.
Then came the last straw that broke the camel’s back.
Your brother, Uncle Tony who came to live with us, made me to believe that he knew exactly what my soul was longing for – companionship.
He chose to stay with me when you and dad were too busy to notice my loneliness.
He tried to keep me company when I needed someone to talk to but had only gadgets and teddy bears as my company. I was fooled to trust him and he hacked into my foolishness. And he did it perfectly and deeply.
Mum, your brother raped me and used me as sex toy for three whole years. I expected you or dad to notice but none of you did.
When he left our house last year I was shattered because I have grown to fill the void of your presence with his dirty deeds. I couldn’t complain because I was afraid to lose him, but when he eventually left for Canada the magnitude of the emptiness in me became too heavy for me to carry.
I struggled to forget those experiences but I could not. My grades dropped in school and you and dad quickly arranged for a home lesson teacher.
Mum, that singular act instead of helping me fueled what is about to happen to me a few minutes from now.
The home lesson teacher you brought so much reminded me of Uncle Tony and, on several occasions, I felt like grabbing him and making him to fill the gap that Tony’s absence created in me.
Mum, I had to do this because I was lonely. Did you ever imagine what I was doing in my room all the time I stayed there alone? Couldn’t you for once have gone out of your way to just spend some time with me so that we could talk?
There are many things I would have liked to tell you but I don’t want to add to your pain so let those other torments be buried with this undignified body of mine.
Please make sure that my brother David doesn’t get to the point where I am now.
Also, tell your friends and colleagues who have children to find out what is happening with their beloved kids before it gets too late.
Many of the things parents do in the name of showing love are not what we the younger ones need.
I would have gone, long hours before you will get to read this note.
But one cheering thing is that David is still there with you. Transfer the love you had for me to him.
My bank details and the passwords to my phones and laptops are all in the piece of paper I dropped in the drawer of your dressing table.
I miss you and it pains to empty the content of this bottle in my hand into my mouth but I am constrained to do it all the same.
Tell dad and David that I love them. Tell our pastor that I will miss his sermons and long prayers. Tell my friends not to envy me.
Goodbye mum.”
That was the suicide note a 15-year old girl dropped for her mother before taking her life.
You may save someone’s life if you pass this story to all contacts in your phone.
1. Parents, do you find yourself to be “too” busy and tired to be in the present moment with your children? Are you more invested in your job and house duties than spending time with your kids?
Lo2. Let your child know they are loved for who they are, and that you are always there to support them.
3. For the past few weeks, the social media has been awashed with many suicide stories on the pages of the media. Many more may still come.
4. Be a supportive parent and actively listen without judgment and seeking to understand their concerns and challenges. Being a supportive parent means having your child’s best interests at heart but also being present, involved and helpful.
5. Treat your child fairly and develop a trusting relationship.
6. Always acknowledge your child’s achievements and supporting them through mistakes and challenges.
7. Parents, let’s ALWAYS be there for our children in the way that we would have wanted our parents to be there for us.
#Parentslove
#Familyconcern
#Familybonding
#FamilyunitedwithChrist
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