Monthly Archives: November 2013

I remember hearing this one years ago.

“No one on their deathbed ever said, “I wish I had spent more time at the office.”

Well if they don’t say that…what do people say on their deathbed?  The following article details the top 5 things heard by one nurse.  Far from depressing… I find the article filled with the potential to inspire change where needed.  Enjoy…

Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed 

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality.

I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way,you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.
http://worldobserveronline.com/2013/11/17/nurse-reveals-top-5-regrets-people-make-deathbed/

WOW, there was so much in that article that could be used to inspire and generate meaningful workplace discussions.

What do you think?

Kirk

PEBBLE

be passionate about your dreams
don’t sway off the intended course
you may run out of gas at times
let hope be your driving force.
-written and shared by Marie Toole in Delray Beach, FL

BOULDER

Dreams are renewable.
No matter what
our age or condition,
there are still
untapped possibilities within us
and new beauty waiting to be born.
-Dr. Dale Turner, shared by Pete in Ouray, CO

PONDER

Do you have any persistent daydreams that you haven’t taken any action on? Have you discarded any dreams because they seemed too big or too unlikely or too difficult or just too *something* for you to believe and act on them?

I think we all need to review our past dreams and check for any new sparks of inspiration or energy that could renew a dream, and perhaps upgrade it to a dare.

Peace,
Paul
The Ripples Guy
P.S.  Can you believe that next week is Thanksgiving? If you’d like to prepare with a sampling of all the gratitude-themed quotes we’ve used over the past 13 years, you can send a blank email to Thanks@TheRipplesGuy.com

The family we choose for ourselves
by BJ Gallagher

Who celebrates the good times and helps you through the bad times in your life? Who listens when you just had a fight with your spouse? Who sees the ‘real you’ and likes you anyway?

The answer to those questions can be summed up in one word: Friends.

Things change in life. Jobs and addresses may come and go but, if we’re lucky, our friends stay with us throughout our lives, making each day better. No one knows that better than author BJ Gallagher, who has done it again with her latest book, Friends: The family we choose for ourselves.

This book is a celebration of friendship, with the centerpiece being BJ’s original poetry. In Friends, BJ shares her thoughts on the ABC’s of true friendship. Here’s just one example from the book:

GOAL!

You’re such a good influence on me.

You’re like my coach,
my cheerleader,
my marching band
all rolled into one person.

Your confidence in me
gives me confidence in me.

I can never fail
with you in my corner.
I go for the goal
‘cause you’ve got my back.
I give it all I’ve got
because you would expect nothing less.

Friends is a book that you’ll want to read…and more importantly, one you’ll want to share with all of your friends in gratitude for their gifts of time, encouragement and support.

As BJ says, “…the heart is where we hold our friends—like precious gems in a jewel box.”

Having you as my friend makes me a winner.

Simple Truths Book offer for “Friends”

Here’s a few great thoughts from Australians.  Down Under Hope, Courage, and the Temptation to end the long toil of mortality.

“Hope is like a magic wand that whisks away your troubles and fulfills all your dreams and courage is like a golden key that opens a special door and gives you a brand new life.”  ~AINERE ANTHONEY

Sometimes the paths we take are long and hard, but remember those are often the ones that lead to the most beautiful views. Have the courage to make that journey.”  AINERE ANTHONEY

“Fallen into a crevasse: Exhausted, weak and chilled (for my hands were bare and pounds of snow had got inside my clothing) I hung with firm conviction that all was over except the passing. Below was a black chasm; it would be but the work of the moment to slip from the harness, then all the pain and toil would be over. It was a rare situation, a rare temptation – a chance to quit small things for great – to pass from the petty exploration of a planet to the contemplation of vaster worlds beyond. But there was all eternity for the last and, at its longest, the present would be but short. I felt better for the thought. ”  SIR DOUGLAS MAWSON, The Home of the Blizzard

Have hope on your journey, don’t be afraid of the harder path…. and when quitting might seem to be the easiest way out…don’t.  Remember quitting can be a forever thing whereas the current difficulties that we may dealing with will eventually pass away.  When it does, it will only be a memory and hopefully a lesson learned that propels you to a better place, with a better view.

Kirk Out