Friend Bill Lavelle shared these with me this morning. I think he was hinting at my lack of editing and poor diction…but I want to share it with you to help you finish Friday with some fun and smile right into your weekend.
Did I read that sign right?
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE
TAKEN
In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a secondhand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer’s field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
On a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR – THE BELL DOESN’T WORK)
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Really?
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers – Now that’s taking things a bit far!
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over – What a guy!
Miners Refuse to Work after Death Good-for-nothin’, lazy so-and-so’s!
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant – See if that works any better than a fair trial!
War Dims Hope for Peace (I can see where it might have that effect!)
If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile !
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide (They may be on to something!)
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges (you mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?)
Man Struck By Lightning:Faces Battery Charge -He probably IS the battery charge!
New Study of Obesity Looks for LargerTest Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft – That’s what he gets for eating those beans!
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks (Do they taste like chicken?)
Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half – Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors – Boy, are they tall!
And the winner is…. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
Enjoy your End Week 
Kirk Out
<!–
Mzsunflower's Say What? 
Everything is very open with a precise clarification of the issues.
It was truly informative. Your website is very helpful.
Many thanks for sharing!